Funny Stories

[sosoDAF]

Hey guys,
I was talkin to someone the other day about funny paintball stories, and really had a good time.
Heres mine:
At my last tourney, our mid man was going light up someone, and right when he shot, his hopper fell off, and needless to say, he tried to pick up paint, and shoot them still, but he got lit up.
lol

Share yours now!!!

[Rancid Coleslaw]

Last time i was at the field we were playing a game of speedball. We were beating the crap out of the other team because most of them were little kids or people with rentals who just stood there.
There were maybe 3 guys left on their team, and we still had almost all of ours. I decided it was time to finish the game off, so i started moving up quickly. I knew where 2 of them were because they were behind the same bunker, both watching the right. I started moving up on the left without them seeing me. It was going to be so easy i thought.
I was 2 bunkers ahead of them, getting ready to run up and bunker them, so i started sprinting. But by the time i got just passed the bunker in front of them, i realized that i had forgot about the 3rd guy. I had no idea where he was, so i paused for a second at the bunker directly in front of the 2 watching the left to make sure it was clear.
My team told me it was, so i charged out there like a moron, saw the backs of the 2 watching the left, about to pull the trigger. Then my mask fell down over my face. The lense was down by my lips. I ended up tripping and falling on my back, spouting swears about my mask while the ref was probably laughing it up. And while i was laying there yelling, the 2 would-be victims heard me, turned around, and unloaded on me. All i could do was squirm around and hope they didnt hit me in the nuts, because i could hardly see anything. I fixed my mask and walked off the field in shame.
I gathered that the reason it fell down was because of the humidity that day, and the fact that it was around 103º ouside. I was sweating like a pig.

[SwordfishIII]

last saturday when i went paintballin i went with my friend with i might say is not the best player (a real n00b). well anyway we were stickin pretty near eachother with this other guy when we start comin under light fire. he drops to the nearest bunker and is all like OMG WERE UNDER HEAVY FIRE WERE SCREWED!!!! well we coulndt find out where the people were(woodsball) so the other guy stands up and runs to the next bunker. my friend is like WOW THAT GUY IS SO GOOD. then i told him he only moved to the next bunker and there was nuthin spectacular about it. after a while we came to another promblem and i told him to give me some cover fire. he jumped up and fire ONE shot at a random tree then once again ducked behind his bunker and shivered until the game was over. the wurst part was he bragged about how good he was for the rest of the day:pissed:

[Ghost2867]

i have 2 pretty funny ones...

me , 2 others from my team and 1 other good friend of ours went out to play a little bit of hyperball. we'd brought 14 total, so we decided to have a little fun. we set the teams to 10 on 4. we beat all of them, as 7 of them were first-timers(but they caught on within like the first 5 seconds of the game...) and 1 had gone before, and the other 2 were pretty good. but the funny thing was, we won without losing a single man, plus our captain's marker was having problems with a new barrel(the shots going about a good 30 feet within each other...), our right man just got a new cocker, and had a bad trigger job on it, plus my frame was coming loose, and i was getting 1 shot for every 2 trigger cycles...it was pathetic...the game was over in less than 5 min.

that same day, we were playing on a different hyperball field...this time, we mixed the teams up so we had an even number of experienced and new players...i was playing right tape, and i noticed our left man was out already. it was already 5 to 6 in their favor. we lost a couple more new ppl, and the captain and i mangaed to tag a couple more of them. one of the more experienced ppl moves to a bunker on the left 50. i move to center, and my teammate tells me to bunker him while he keeps him down. he did his job. i was running and i ran past the bunker shooting, when i noticed that he wasn't there anymore. while my teammate was apparently not looking, he had apparently moved to the tape at the 50, just one bunker over. i saw him, and he saw me. i suddenly think only in 4-letter words, and i try to run back. i end up falling on my back, and i am literally squirming like a worm trying to get back behind the bunker. i manage to get back, and i simply pop him.
it was pathetic, though...i ended up bunkering a guy who wasn't even frieking there...

[BigDog44]

OK this wasn't funny at the time, but now I have to laugh. We were playing in the woods and I had just installed camo goggleskinz on my JT flex mask. Being in full camo, I decided to see how well I could hide. I crawled through some thick weeds to large bush next to the main trail running through the field. Perfect position to lay in wait he he he:laugh:

So my first victim comes sneaking down the path, walks past the bush looks right at me and can't see me he he he, so I fire one shot right into his gut from 4 feet away, sweet (OK in retrospect I should have waited and shot him in the back so he couldn't tell where it came from--oh well), so he swears, raises his hands and walks off the field.

My next victim comes sneaking around the bush, and pop right in his gut. he he he I am having fun now. Then I hear someone call out where are they? and the dead guy yells out "They are behind the bush!!" ( I thought dead guys weren't supposed to speak :pissed: )

Next thing I know, the sound of several markers on full auto roars out as 8, count em 8, guys empty their hoppers on my position. Paint is spraying everywhere but on me as I huddled behind the bush. after what seemed like forever, I finally felt one hit me. Not wanting to drown in spatter, I called HIT, HIT, I'm HIT. and the paint just kept coming. Finally the ref steps in and makes them stop long enough to let me out.

I stand up and look at what is left of the bush. No leaves, just a handful of twigs covered in paint. I step out into the path and see 8 guys not more than 5 feet away, four of them with angels, and empty tubes on the ground.

At least I got two of them and made them waste some paint/air.;)

[tippycustom]

i was at my local field, lately they have been keeping supair a little deflated. anyways, it was 8 on 25, because my 3 man team needed some practice. so we chose the 5 others and they got the rest. We won pretty fast. but since there was so many people on one side of the field, they coudnt all really have the advantage of bunkers. so after we have taken everybody but two people out (behind the first bunker) my friend rushes the bunker, slams into it at full speed (remember these are a bit deflated) and it knocked the two behind it right on their bums. but being the nice guy he is he calmly asked them to surender.

[Ghost2867]

the only reason y i like offering the surrender option is that it allows u to save paint...but otherwise, i'd shoot them

[paintballer42o]

we were walkin around and this girl with a JT 6/0 accedently shot a guy on the leg. about 1 ft away. It was hillarious, he started laughing(the guy who got shot)

[Ghost2867]

the first time i ever went paintballing, i walked out of a building in a game, and a trigger happy 12 year old with a brand new shutter ff'd me in the neck from about 5-10 ft away...that hurt like a biatch...

[Marc2002]

Well it was in November and my cuzzen and his friends asked if we wanted to play some paintball in this open feild with natural bunkers. So we get ready and we all have electro guns except this one kid who is a psyco with his stock class gun (not really but hes really good). Anyway me and my cuzzen are crawling under these patches of prickles and they are all over my jersey and hands and pants. next thing you know I herd 3 shots come out of nowhere from the right of me and the next thing i hear is AHHH!!! MY !! and I start bursting out with laugher and then all the sudden you hear 3 other ppl laughing out loud it was a very funny day.

Ontop of that his pants were ripped in the back and his was hangen out and my cuzzens friend is like dude your is hangen out and hes like aww crap and then we start bursting out with laughter again. ahh good times lol :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[RaiderWin16]

This happened on the last game of today when it was almost dark. Two guys who worked at the field asked me and some other kid if we wanted to play one last game against this private group, so we were like sure. I was playing with my xtra, the other kid had his imagine, and the two field guys had their pumps. The private group had rental tippmans and it was 4v8, I think. Long story, short. At the end we have 2 guys left and the other team had 4. Right when I get out my teammate stands up and walks towards 2 guys. The other guys were yelling out if he was out and my teammate justs asks"where are they at?" They trade these questions 2 or three more times, then he pops one right in the chest and runs behind a bunker. It takes almost 2 minutes for the other team to bunker him and everybody was within a 30ft circle. The whole time me and the ref are just laughing. It was one of the funniest things I ever saw while paintballing.

[plushdragon]

Happened to me this past weekend at local field.Was a nice warm day with a few noobie playing.The ref started a game where red and blue teams were facing each other about 40 yards with a flag in the middle of the field the object was to run the flag to the other end of the field to win.it was a 30 on 30 game lined up on the tape.The a new kid with a dragon tes on my right i can see it his first or second game the ref is next to me on the left.The ref does the 5 sec count down and when he blows the wissle the new kid opens up but i think his eyes are closed becasue he shoots me and 12 people on his team and the ref then jumps behind a bunker going did i hit any one did i hit anyone.Me and the ref are holding are sides were laffing so hard.durning the rest of the day every one on our team keep the kid in frount of them.

[Ghost2867]

Originally posted by plushdragon
Happened to me this past weekend at local field.Was a nice warm day with a few noobie playing.The ref started a game where red and blue teams were facing each other about 40 yards with a flag in the middle of the field the object was to run the flag to the other end of the field to win.it was a 30 on 30 game lined up on the tape.The a new kid with a dragon tes on my right i can see it his first or second game the ref is next to me on the left.The ref does the 5 sec count down and when he blows the wissle the new kid opens up but i think his eyes are closed becasue he shoots me and 12 people on his team and the ref then jumps behind a bunker going did i hit any one did i hit anyone.Me and the ref are holding are sides were laffing so hard.durning the rest of the day every one on our team keep the kid in frount of them.
ROFL...

that sux ...lol

i h8 those cocky holes who just spray at a small group...i was out, and i was watching like the last 5 ppl on our team(it was like a 30 vs 30) try to hold off like 20...they were all surrounding the flag trying to keep a loose perimeter, then one guy with an e-cocker just opens up and rips...he marked every1 that was watching from the sidelines, and got none on our team taht were still in...oh man, the ref got so pissed...

[nerdcore]

cousin is behind a pallet bunker but the only opening is a small slit near the bottom left. he hears some kid's voice & looks through the opening & sees the kid's legs.

my cousin pops out the side & before he can even let a shot off, the kid drops his cocker, throws his arms in the air & lets out this high-pitched, kindergarden student scream.

my cousin never pulled the trigger. the kid scurried off the field.

without the cocker.

[Ghost2867]

Originally posted by nerdcore
without the cocker.
ROFL

arse







just checking if those get edited out w/ the new swear filter...hehe

:edit:
looks like only arse made it through...:rolleyes:

[hybrid-sniper]

this happened awhile ago but i thought it was pretty funny yet painful
i was playing a rec 1v1 with my friend, and we would start at opposite sides of the field and it was standard elimination game.
so i take a big run to the middle and he takes a sprint up the side, we were using wood pallet bunkers so i ducked down and was watching him through a hole the size of a softball in the pallet, so i look through and see him peeking around a bunker 10 feet away. im like oh he can't hit me, instead i start pulling my gun up to get up and try and bunker him while he was still crouched down. instead he sees me and pops 3 shots into the mouth guard on my mask. bad part since he was so close the force of the balls hitting my mask, most of the shell went through and cut my lip right open, but even worse while i play my mouth is usually open so i can breathe more (therefore move more) so most of the 3 paintballs went into my mouth. the refs like where'd he get you, as i walk out from behind the bunker spitting out paint and blood, he just starts laughing....wasnt funny at the time but i would probably laugh if i just witnessed that to

[plushdragon]

last game of the seson i saw dad playing with his two kids behind a palet bunker at our local field.Dad had the rental tipman jammed between to slats and was laying down soem cover fire when his kids ran to the next bunker.What was funny he tride to follow but he left the gun jammed in the bunker for 30 sec or so he was shooting the other team with his fingers :) it was funny watching him dive back into the other bunker for his gun.

[El Kabong]

This didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it. At my local field, we were playing a round of woodsball with like 25 guys on each team. Anywho, I'm in a bunker pinning down 3 guys all hiding behind one huge bunker about 15 yards in front of me. Next thing I know, this 12 year old slides in right beside me, toting a really nice Black Magic and wearing a tank top and shorts and a mullet. He looks at me and says, "We gotta move up let's go!". Then he hops up and charges the bunker I was just shooting at with the 3 kids in it. I yell for him to come back but he doesn't hear and doesn't realize the bunker he is charging for his occupied. So the poor kid gets halfway there while I give him all the cover I can muster with my pump, then they all see him. Long story short, he takes at least 4 rounds in the crotch, lets go of the Cocker and it flies like 15 feet, and he falls backward in a sort of clothesline effect holding his gonads. He didn't move for like 30 seconds, then the ref stopped the game through tears of laughter and dragged the poor tyke outta there. I felt really bad about it, but then his brother was laughing about it after the game and I felt better.

[Frosti]

during a scenario game a guy on my team threw a grenade over the top of a 3 storey tower with no roof hoping it would fall right onto the guy at the top. Well, it hit the very top edge of the wall, came down and it burst in his hands. And who said squadbusters dont work?

[RPBZ4LIFE1]

I remember one time i let a friend borrow a tank of mine for a war. He screwed it in and it leaked, tightening it didnt work and it was frozen on the body of the tank (CO2) so he left it there and froze his gun with 16 ounces of C02... and he blew my bottle O-Ring into a million pieces...


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[smegle5]

ok, my first war, i had a blade, itwas 1v1v1
i hid behind a stump and waited, my friends finally comes with his veiwloader tritan (not a pump) and starts to spray me, i let out only 10 paintballs and i get him (2 shot kill) i only take 1 shot :laugh:

after ward the other guy lights me up :(

[impyshmimpy]

when i first started paintball, there is this kid that always goes with me to the field, a little on the slow side but he is a nice kid. i had a spyder sonix, he had a stingrayII. there was a family that played there often a father old son and young son. they all had black magic autocockers. and my friend had the full BE setup. tank, gun, mask, and hopper. and he wore a life jacket. the hopper was paper thin and a peice of S***. the oldest man of the family and him were last in the game (no, i dont know how this happend), the man ran up to the other side of his bunker (he was on the snake), came over, shot his hopper, and blam! his hopper caved in and all his paint spilled all over the ground. he dropped his gun and called his mom to bring him home. but being the nice guy he was he gave him $7 for a new hopper. :laugh:

[Ghost2867]

at the end of the day, last time i went about a week ago, we had full hopper still, so we decided to nail the center bunker with as much paint as fast as we could put it out, and have a contest as to who's paint color showed up the most...my friend with the timmy won obviously...there was a group of about 6 kids, their mom, and a couple other parents right next to us...when we walked away, they looked scared s***less...the funny thing was, we asked them if they wanted to join us just before that last game we played...lol

[paintballer42o]

A kid splat a paintball on his mask and yelled "im out!"
i guess thats what noobs do under fire...we actually pushed through right after he walked out and we got the flag...