dumbest questions

[PAiN]

what r the DUNBEST, STUPIDEST questions anyone ever asked u?
1. my brother asked me which size CO2 tank should he buy if gets an angel :)
2. my friend asked me when he first saw a pb gun "and where do u put the ballz?"

[Wuzup101]

This was taken from the October APG:

Question: Hello, I boought a thread saver for my co2 bottle earlier, and now that I've put it on, the bottle won't screw into my marker.

Reply: Take off the thread saver when you want to screw the tank into the marker.

I just found this quite funny...I had to read it several times and then shook my head in astonishment. :)

[PAiN]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
thats funnier than my brother

[Lord Delta]

Originally posted by Wuzup101
This was taken from the October APG:

Question: Hello, I boought a thread saver for my co2 bottle earlier, and now that I've put it on, the bottle won't screw into my marker.

Reply: Take off the thread saver when you want to screw the tank into the marker.

I just found this quite funny...I had to read it several times and then shook my head in astonishment. :)


That's not that funny, I thought the thread saver was supposed to save the threads when you were screwing the tank in and out of the gun. Are thread savers those little plastic caps that cover the valve? You'd have to be real careless to need one of those

[Ebonclaw]

I saw that one too! I about fell out of my chair. Actually I've heard "You must have to pump the gun a lot of times to get it to shoot 300 fps."

[Incube]

I also saw that one i was trying to rember where i saw it though. i like the be nice to newbies arctical.... newbies suck...:)

I heard "wow your gun is a cell phone too?"
It was a newb (of course) looking at my friends boo yah

I heard "I got my pump gun and some ball last night, i put the balls in and evrything when i pump the gun and pull the trigger noting happens, is there something wrong with the air? he hold his gun up and shows me he has no co2" hahahahhahahaha

[Richy_C]

Newbies: WOW! an auto battery gun!

[Incube]

Newbie1"whats a good sniper gun?"
Newbie2"get a sniper 3"
Newbie1"why?"
Newbie2"cuz it says sniper!"
Me "you guys are right sniper 3`s fire over 30 feet"
Newbie1 and 2"sweet 30 feet"
Me "yeah ill sell you it"
Newbie1"yeah show it to me"
Newbie2 leaves*
Me: shows him talon ghost
Newbie1 walks on tofeaild with his new sniper 3


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
This is a true story!
Now the newbie1 is one of the best player in speed ball i have played with he now has a mini mag!

[KOTOWA]

Newbie: I gotta angel!
Me: Sweet dude, what kind?
Newbie: What do you mean what kind, you know, an angel!
Me: Uh, I mean an LED or LCD
Newbie: Well, it has the LED barrel, and um, the um tank is also LED, but the um, grips are LCD! YEAH tahts it!
Me: EH!?!?
Newbie: You are jealous arent you!
Me: No
Newbie: Why not,
Me, cause I got a cocker, and plus, you cant get angels like that, unless your daddy owns the company and makes a fake gun that wont work like the way you described it.
Newbie walks away...

[Ebonclaw]

Newbie: What kind of gun is that? (Pointing to Shutter)
Me: It's a Spyder Shutter
Newbie: It sucks, mine's better.
Me: How can it suck? You barely know what it is? And what are you packing?
Newbie: I'm a sniper! I have a M98 with a Flatline!
Me: Snipers use pumps. They're supposedly more accurate.
Newbie: Really? I need a pump?
Me: Yeah, get a Talon and attach the Flatline.
Newbie: Cool! Thanks!
Me: Here, you're gonna need this. *Hands newbie duct tape*

[Wuzup101]

Originally posted by Lord Delta



That's not that funny, I thought the thread saver was supposed to save the threads when you were screwing the tank in and out of the gun. Are thread savers those little plastic caps that cover the valve? You'd have to be real careless to need one of those

After you already have the thread saver and have put it on your tank it's kinda obvious that you can't screw it in...isn't it? Yes...you'd have to be real careless to need one of those :rolleyes:

[Avatar]

at my school EVERYONE has a paintball gun, so i just ask them a few questions about the one they have.

me:so what type of marker you got?
loser:*looks at magazine* ummm, autococker
me:really? what feed you got on there?
loser:feed?
me:ya, the thing you put the air into, you got magnetic or upside feed?
loser:magnetic
me:oh so you must ahve the brass eagle automag
loser:ya
me:i thought you had an autococker
loser:um ya i have both
me:so what type of cooler you got on there?
loser:cooler?
me:ya the thing you got on the gun so it doesnt overheat, you know that co2 is boiling hot?
loser: ya, umm i got the one on the gun
me:ohhhh, ya i heard that one breaks all the time
loser:ummm yah
me:so what barrel you got on there?
loser: umm the one that coame with my gun?
me:oh, you should really slap a new one on there, try a Kmart atomizer
loser:oh ya, i need to get that.
me:so where do you play?
loser:i usually play at a forest with my friends
me:you should really play at the fields, they have these brush fields
loser: what are those?
me:its these fields with all these brushes and stuff theyve found in the junk yard, smells kinda rotten, but its fun to play.

and it all goes like that until i catch them in there own web of lies, over and over and over. its real fun when they say they can whup my ***, whenever i talk bout paintball theres always some loser that goes like "dude, ill whup yo *** in paintball" FOOLS! I CAN CRUSH THEM WITH THE POWER OF MY MIND!

[mutt382]

haha crush them with your mind......:rolleyes: :D

[JIVEN]

I met a guy at school who said he had a 5000$ gun called a talon that could shoot 6 (count them 6) shots a second. and if you shot it fast enough, fire would come out of the barrel.

[Saiyan_warrior]

We were all newbies at once and probably asked the same questions..so I wouldnt be making fun of them.

[Avatar]

i was never a newbie, i was born with a spyder in my hand. i never kicked my moms stomach when i was in the womb, i shot it with mah spydah

[frenchtoastdude]

You want a newbie question...here is one and this should help a few people.... WHAT DOES UP MEAN?

[Saiyan_warrior]

and what does that have to do with paintball?:confused:

[frenchtoastdude]

doesnt but I thought I'd ask. Well?

[Lord Delta]

Originally posted by Wuzup101


After you already have the thread saver and have put it on your tank it's kinda obvious that you can't screw it in...isn't it? Yes...you'd have to be real careless to need one of those :rolleyes:

No, no, no. I don't have a thread saver, I'm saying when I heard the term 'thread saver' (and I didn't know what it was) I thought it referred to some part or accessory that attached to the gun or tank that saved your threads from the wear of being screwed in and out of the gun. Obviously if you had a cap on the tank covering the threads you would not be able to screw it into the asa, duh.

[Ebonclaw]

"Up" is just a post that someone does to move the thread "up" to the top.

[PoInT BlAnK]

are angels made by brass eagle






the dumbest possible question^^^

[PAiN]

of course angels are made by brass eagle
best ballz are made by brass eagle
best equipment is made by brass eagle






















NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Wuzup101]

Originally posted by Lord Delta


No, no, no. I don't have a thread saver, I'm saying when I heard the term 'thread saver' (and I didn't know what it was) I thought it referred to some part or accessory that attached to the gun or tank that saved your threads from the wear of being screwed in and out of the gun. Obviously if you had a cap on the tank covering the threads you would not be able to screw it into the asa, duh.

Haha...no this person had one and put it on the tank...and then tried to screw it in. Yes I also though of that first when I heard of them...but when you have it on already it's kinda obvious...lol :)

[PAiN]

i donno how dumb do u have to be to do that thing with threadsavers

[snipinhick]

last time i played

newb:OH MY GOD, THAT GUN LOOKS SO TRICK(refering to my phantom) how many balls per second does it shoot.
me:faster then you can run
newb: i herd they shoot 13 balls per second? but i also herd the spyder shutter shoots 23, its soo much better.
me: really 23 balls per second?
newb: YEAH
me: **** off you god damn retard, stop braging abou **** you don't know.

then some experienced player laughed his *** off.

[PAiN]

nwb reffering to my friend that played with pump that he got from someone just for fun :)
nwb:u'r gonna loose
my friend:why?
nwb:u dont have a revvy on it so u'll chop ballz a lot

[Incube]

Newb:I got a electro kit (the box)for my m98 w/ flatline
Me:really how dose it work i hear with a set up like that you chop lots of balls
Newb:Yeah my gun is the best on the field
Newb:chops balls what you mean?
Me:breaks balls in the barrel
Newb:thats why i got a suqgee
Newb:I dont understand how they work though they seem to chop more balls when its in!
Me:Crys

[paintballer56]

its not a question but in a magazine ive seen a tourney player wit a talon

[pr0kch0p]

ref at my field: the teams are even because your guns are higher powered than theirs!

i hate that fu*king ref!

[Incube]

Higher powerd? lol.

[PAiN]

at a place where i play one gun owner=2 rental gun players (i think that how it is)

[Wuzup101]

Originally posted by paintballer56
its not a question but in a magazine ive seen a tourney player wit a talon

Yeah so...I believe I saw that too. I think i saw it in a pump event at the ZAP open. The tourney player most likely didnt' own a pump so he bought a talon just to have some fun and compete in that event, there's nothing wrong with that. Haha... i love playing in the woods when everybody has talons you should try it, it's just fun...i don't know why.

[frenchtoastdude]

Newbie:(Holding a TALON) WOW, what kind of gun is that?
Me:(holding my AUTOCOCKER) It's an Angel
Newbie: OH COOL! Thopse are really godd guns, huh!
Me: Yea I wish I had a Talon though.
Newbie: yea Talons are really good guns.
Me: I know you wanna trade?
Newbie: No way, I payed alot for this gun!
Me: Ok, I'm gonna save up and buy one!
Newbie: bye

[Incube]

hahahahahahaha thats funny.

[albert]

I dont wanna make fun of newbies, because I know in 3 or 4 months they are gonna be hella good and woop my *****!!

but... the one thing i hate is RICH NEWBIES.... U know.. the one with a thousand dollar gun, dressed in jt from head to toe, and acts all bad with their gun....

Its fun to gather a couple of people and gang up on them....

me as a newbie: "Spyders are the best guns out there!"
(luckily I was talking to my friend, who knew nothing of paintballing)

[ThaFiend]

One time I was at my field and a kid with a 68 Mag classic was talking about how good his E-Mag was, and I asked him why he was using a classic when he had an E-Mag and he said it was his E-mag. He was dead serious, and I was about to shoot myself over the dumbness of this kid. One other time there was a kid with a standard feed 99' cocker with no upgrades on it was calling it an Free Flow cocker, and he, too, was serious.

Stuff like makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

[Avatar]

also from APG:

is there a website i can look up the FPS on my gun?

and yes, rich newbies suck, and they stay sucking because they dont bother to improve, they dont think they need to with their guns.

[PAiN]

Originally posted by albert

the one thing i hate is RICH NEWBIES.... U know.. the one with a thousand dollar gun, dressed in jt from head to toe, and acts all bad with their gun....

Its fun to gather a couple of people and gang up on them....

dont even talk bout it i get krazy when i hear rich newbie
last time i went paintballing there was a f*cking 11-12 year old kid with a f*ucking golden adonized impulse
me and another guy just let him have it.......... i wanted to spend like 30 ballz on him but after 3-4 ball i run out of co2......... f*uck
but the other guy did him goood

[AngrySloth]

One time at my local paintball store I'm just browsing for stuff to put on my gun when a kid and his dad walk in.

KID: (pointing at the wall) What's that one?
CLERK: That's an Intimidator.
KID: Does it do automatic?
CLERK: Yes it does.
KID: Ooh! That one, I want that one!
(Dad writes out a check.)
KID: What's the best size CO2 for this gun?

The clerk looks at me and we both chuckle.:laugh:

[Avatar]

speedo king, you obviously have much better control than me, i woulda beat the crap outta the guy and his son. then i woulda taken a brass eagle and let loose on their as ses. if i was the clerk i would go *but an impulse is nothing compared to this great rain maker right here, and its yours for only 800 bux!*

[-Z-]

Who here wasn't a newbie at one time? Everybody was. Who here enjoyed being laughed at while they were a newbie, simply because they weren't experienced in paintball? I doubt anybody did. Saddest thing is, some of these questions are legitimate. But, some of you would rather laugh at them than help them.

And to anybody with derogatory remarks toward kids with expensive guns: don't take it out on them because you're jealous.

[frenchtoastdude]

I dont remember getting made fun of. probably because I'm not a loser like -Z-

[albert]

Originally posted by frenchtoastdude
I dont remember getting made fun of. probably because I'm not a loser like -Z-

:eek: :eek: I second that!!! :eek: :eek:

[Lord Delta]

Originally posted by albert


:eek: :eek: I second that!!! :eek: :eek:

You're both losers for maing that statement:(

Even though we all enjoy laughing at newbies, at some point we have to help the newbies in order to help ourselves and our sport.

[albert]

Originally posted by albert
I dont wanna make fun of newbies, because I know in 3 or 4 months they are gonna be hella good and woop my *****!!

Lord delta... I stated, I DO NOT MAKE FUN OF NEWBIES!!!! Your a looser for making that statement about my statement...

[pr0kch0p]

im a loser. but i tell newbies to get the hell out of my bunker so then they think i am an ******* cuz i am.

[fate tempter]

back when i was a newb--

freind shows me his new kickass "Sameri"
WOW! you dont even have to pump it!
or use 12g's!
and when it ran out of CO2 i thought it was full auto...

back in the day of not knowing too much, lol

[davidb]

I had a kid surrender to me because he fell into a creek after $hitting a brick when my nitro went a tad too low, and made the Big Scary Full-Auto Sound. Sorry, he didn't ask me much of anything, although he did feel a tad stupid when he found out that I was about to surrender to HIM because we were the only ones, and I was out of air. I was just thrilled, too, cause that kid was a cheater.

[CDietz]

Originally posted by in trauma
last time i played

why cant anyone spell ANTI- SIPHON

i see
anti syphon

anti siphin

anti syphin

why cant anyone spell it!!

it isnt that hard


this is a dumb question.

jk man

[DontKillWhitey]

My Friend: Im getting i revy, what do they do u agian?
Me: *******...
Friend: Cmon man tell me wut it does.
Me: Why the hell do u need it if u dont kno wut it does?!?
Friend: Well u and Scott have one
Me: Man ure fukin stupid..

[-Z-]

Originally posted by frenchtoastdude
I dont remember getting made fun of. probably because I'm not a loser like -Z-

Wow, got me on that one.

You either didn't know you were being made fun of (like the people being made fun of in this thread don't), or the people you were around while you were a newbie didn't make fun of you because they aren't complete disgraces to the sport, such as yourself.

[ThaFiend]

This isn't a question but this one time I was playing in the woods with a bunch of newbies (all only played a few games each) and I had seperated from my group and ran into about 15 newbies on the other team and shot the crap out of 5 and ran out of paint and then ducked and about 1000 paintballs came my way before I stood up with my paintless marker and charged them and most dropped their markers and ducked......... I single handedly took out 10 newbies without any paint!!!!! stupid newbies.

[Ebonclaw]

The new APG has a really dumb one.

"Can I refill 12 grams?"
"No."


God, who asks these questions? And why do they print them? To give readers laughs?

[Orgazmo]

This is the incident at walmart

I see a kid looking at paintball stuff with his friend saying should i get this? no, dont get the super swirl, get the BE

Me: what kinda gun u got?
Kid: griffin
kid: what kinda gun do you have?
me: B2K2
kid: you suck, ill beat you
me: youve never seen me play...
kid: im so good that i had to sell my REALLY High end gun, you know, a spyder se, and i dont even use a hopper, i carry around a handfull of paintballs, and i took on a 10 man tourney team with 5 paintballs, and got them all out. Oh, and i can bunker you and beat you everytime

Me: your a F A G

i challenged him to a top gun match, then he called me fat
I then hit him in the stomach cause he called me fat (im not really fat, just muscular), and i walked away.

this all happened sunday night my friends were laughing there arses off. I hope that little fruitcake shows up

[DontKillWhitey]

LOL, if i was you orgazmo i wouldnt have hit him in the stomache, i would have aimed for the nose. I freakin hate when your talking to people you kno are newbs and they talk about how damn good they are and how they can whoop your ***, it just makes me snap.

[albert]

Originally posted by Orgazmo

i challenged him to a top gun match, then he called me fat
I then hit him in the stomach cause he called me fat (im not really fat, just muscular), and i walked away.


How old was the kid? If he's under 15 (wich it sounds like he is) thats fuk't up!

That kid was right... all the pros play without a hopper, They like to have their balls in their hands!! :laugh: :D :laugh:

[Archer99]

A lot of crazy things happen when you put a gun (even a paintball gun) in the hands of a 11 year old kid who has no idea what he is doing.
There are lots of ridiculous questions asked, and ignorant acts performed, but guys if we want our sport to grow, we have to encourage these newbies.
Everyone of us represents paintball. When some parent sees a group of paintballers peppering some newbie while yelling obsenities, you don't just turn that parent against paintball, you also turn every person that parent talks to against paintball.

I have to say that misinforming, degrading, and denying newbies is a true sign of a player that still has a bit of newbie inside themselves.

If a newbie has an attitude, or says something stupid just tell him or her
"Listen, you can't learn anything about this game if you already know everything. I know you are trying to impress me with your knowledge, but you will do well to keep your teeth together, your ears open, and your eyes peeled of you want to learn paintball. There are a lot of players that are willing to help, but only if you have the right attitude."
Then try to get the little bugger off to a good start.

I for one would like to see paintball on TV more often. No one is gonna put on a bunch of foul mouthed children whose only goal is to hurt someone. Ever wonder why paintball can't seem to get rid of its "Kiddie" stereotype?

[Lord Delta]

Originally posted by Orgazmo
This is the incident at walmart

I see a kid looking at paintball stuff with his friend saying should i get this? no, dont get the super swirl, get the BE

Me: what kinda gun u got?
Kid: griffin
kid: what kinda gun do you have?
me: B2K2
kid: you suck, ill beat you
me: youve never seen me play...
kid: im so good that i had to sell my REALLY High end gun, you know, a spyder se, and i dont even use a hopper, i carry around a handfull of paintballs, and i took on a 10 man tourney team with 5 paintballs, and got them all out. Oh, and i can bunker you and beat you everytime

Me: your a F A G

i challenged him to a top gun match, then he called me fat
I then hit him in the stomach cause he called me fat (im not really fat, just muscular), and i walked away.

this all happened sunday night my friends were laughing there arses off. I hope that little fruitcake shows up

That is funny shiznit ! Why do the people who know the least think they know the most and are the best? What is a top gun match?

[bulldog76]

last year I had my first paintball game at my homemade course made by me, my brother, Zach(friend), Logan(friend), and Aaron(friend).
The news was spreading around the WHOLE school that I was having a paintball game(war <what my friends called it). Well one of my BEST friends said that he would come:

Dan(friend): hey Ryan(me), I am gonna come to the paintball war.
Me: yeah, cool. What kind of marker do you have?
Dan: huh?
Me: marker means gun.
Dan: :oh
Me: so what kind do you have?
Dan: a Spyder - Angel 3.0
Me: riiiight
Dan: whatever
Me: okay...

That Saturday comes along. Rains really bad. Game is rescheduled. I call everybody. Dan says he is coming.
Sunday comes along; 2:00 pm. Dan doesn't show up.
Monday comes along; at school.

Me: where was you at Dan?
Dan: oh...couldn't come
Me: why?
Dan: umm..
Me: ...
Dan: my CO2 blew up.
Me:...

[albert]

"Man.... your gun is pretty small for it's size"
--Some guy holding an Autococker..

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Cloud-VII]

Man, some of these stories are so damn funny.

Being a newbie myself ive asked my fair share of questions, but even still, non have been as rediculous as these.
And for all you guess yelling at them for "Making fun" of these newbies, well they all deserve it.

[SEPHIROTH_086]

Noooooooooo someone else with a FF7 name I WAS THE ONLY ONE DA.MN IT!!!!!!

Well anyways
I was at the local paintball shop and this kid who just bought a C02 tank comes up to me and asks me
Kid: Hey look at my kool tank(9oz)
Me: yeah uh-huh go away
Kid: Im gonna get 9,000 shots with this baby
Me: Yup you sure are
Kid: Oops I almost forgot I have a question
Me: *sigh* What???
Kid: What is the best type of gas to use to fill my tank, Unleaded, super unleaded, diesel
Me: YOUR NOT SERIOUS ARE YOU?!!!?
Kid: Yeah I am why wouldnt I be(dad honks car horn)
Kid: Hurry i gotta go
Me: Super unleaded(smiles eviley)
Kid: Thanks!!!!

Im guessing he didnt know what co2 was

I have alot more funnier stories including the thing me and my friends call: The Tippman Incident(hehehe ill tell ya later)