this sucks!!!

[MacGyver]

i know some of you have seen it before but for those of you who havent here its is http://www.users.qwest.net/~jmsdeleon/OUCH!.html

it makes me glad the i choose to use.


***WARNING *** this link is graphic and not for the faint of heart.

[pr0kch0p]

omfg!

ok, let me clarify his warning:

CLICK the link if: you want to see bruised testicles.

DONT click the link if: you DONT want to see bruised testicles.

there is a story about paintball, followed by a picture of bruised testicles. and here is the story, so you really dont need to click the link, unless you want to see the bruised testicles.



It was a great day for paintball. The sky was blue, the ground was dry and the paint was flying straight. Little did I know that by the end of the day I would have experienced the worst possible pain, ever! Those stories you mom spouts about giving birth do not even come close to the excruciating pain that I had to endure.
The situation was this. I was playing a walk-on game at my local field. It was a center flag push game. Off the break, I sprinted to the flag and pulled it before the other team could send a runner. I was stuck behind a tiny bunker and taking alot of paint. My 6'4" *** barely fits behind a normal bunker, little lone a two foot high piece of plywood.
My team was made up of a few good players (the rest were hiding 60 feet behind the action). Those few good players worked up to my area and allowed me to move back to a safer bunker where I could actually shoot at someone. The rest of the game was a stalemate. The other team was slowly being whittled away and my squad was pretty much intact. The three minute mark came and we had just moved past the mid line. We were taking shots dead ahead and assumed that their were only 2 or 3 guys left. One of my minion suggested we storm the hill and get the flag to their station. "We have the numbers!" he kept repeating. "We have the numbers!"
Now, I would not normally listen to some schmuck telling me what to do, but this schmuck happened to be a part time ref at the field and has a good understanding of paintball. He also had a piercing and a few tattoos. I had to at least act tough. He commented, "We have 6, they have 2. They cant get us all."
This logic mixed with a lil adrenaline and the pending time limit made sense to me.
I said, " On the count of three we make our run." I was still holding the flag and wanted to hang it because I worked so damn hard to pull it. I was a man with a mission.
"One", I grasped the flag harder. "Two, checked and made sure that the gun was ready. "Threeeeeeee!!!!!" I was off sprinting like Ben Johnson with an *** full of performance enhancing drugs. The first few seconds were a piece of cake. The six of us running like a mob, shooting and pillaging the other team.
The next thing I know my minion is diving off the trail to the left and right. I was determined though, if i get hit there will be someone behind me to pick up the flag and finish the run. What I did not know was that there were about 10 guys left on the other side. Most of whom had cockers and knew how to use them.
No worries ,I will keep running.
Bam, hit in the chest. Splat, hit in the shoulder. Whack hit in the arm. I realize that I'm done and throw up my hands and yell, "out".
While my hands are up declaring my deadness, I took one more hit. Can you guess where?

*********BRUISED TESTICLE PICTURE WAS HERE*************
In all seriousness, this is probably the most painful injury that I have ever had. I played college football and have had about twenty different surgeries on knees, ankles, and shoulders. Those were nothing compared to this.
This picture was taken right after I had 3/4 of a pint of blood removed from my right testicle. You can see the obvious distortion and swelling. I am only sorry that the picture the doctor took the day after did not turn out. My nut was the size of a softball!
I would like to stress the importance of wearing some jewel protection. The nut doctor said that your teste is the same consistency of an eyeball. We wear goggles for our eyes, what about our boys!
The final verdict is that I will get to keep the nut (they thought they would have to remove him). The problem is that for all intensive purposes it is dead, scrambled, ruptured, out of commission. I still have the other and I am going to pamper him.
The moral: pamper your nuts, they deserve it.

Jason "BOSS" Morton
copyright 1999-2000

[UTLadiesMan]

DEAR GOD!

I have never worn a cup before, and been shot on my trophy area a few times before, but never had more than a small bruise. I may have to start providing some protection though.... Every time I go out on the field I'm going to remember that pic, and cower in fear.

[KOTOWA]

FILE NOT FOUND

[pr0kch0p]

use this link to visit the site (http://www.users.qwest.net/~jmsdeleon/OUCH!.html)

ok use that link to visit the site.

[DraXsuS]

OUCH!!!! HAAAA OcuH! :bawling:

[-RuShPB227-]

im in pain just thinking about it.

[jaredu]

Would you please excuse me for just a second?

-------/passes out/------------




I'm back......

I will have to start wearing a cup from now on...

[MilkMan]

Good thing, wear a cup. That would be smart. You dont know how much those have saved me in the past.

[TheSickness]

im not going to play again unless i have a cup. he only has one working nut now. im going out and getting one as soon as i can

[tones888]

yeah i got a cup this weekend, cuz i thought i was paranoid. **phew!

[ThaFiend]

wow........ that's like........ extremelely disgusting.......

[KOTOWA]

Ha, now im thinking I will stick to the ground. It may look disturbing, but it makes me horny, and when im horny, watch out. I play like mad. Wouldnt it suck if you had an erection and got shot in your *****. OUCH!!! Im wearing a cup from now on.

[wap]

Oh come on!
Walk it off!!!!

[DeAd-EyE]

jesus... that guy mush be as sterile as homer simpson now... my new conclusion from this.... cups are good... sex is good...chick don't wanna have sex with a guy with deformed nuts... in order to keep having sex i will now wear a cup


CONCLUSION: WEAR THE DAMNED CUP AND LIVE LIFE TO IT"S FULLEST

now excuse me while i puke.