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View Full Version : The REAL paintball christmas story


RubberBandMan87
12-22-2004, 07:51 PM
I thought this was old, but I just saw some kid made a thread trying to make it up:rolleyes: .....so here goes:

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, 'cept Johnny DeLouse.
He polished his gun and topped the agitator,
awaiting old Santa, who'd be by some later.

A cruel trick Santa played on last Christmas day,
when he left poor Johnny a cheap old Stingray.
He worked through the summer as a grocery shelf stocker,
and he saved and he saved for a trick Autococker.

He awaited St. Nick in a tactical crouch,
his cammies matched perfect, his mom's brand new couch.
His red dot cast eerie a glow on the place,
as he waited for Santa to show his fat face.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
that Johnny got ready for Santa to splatter.
He pulled down his Spectras and chambered a ball,
'cause Santa was here, and was fixing to call.

Now Santa's no dummy, he has intuition,
he took down the chimney his own ammunition.
He wore an Intruder and sported a Mag,
A case of RP tucked away in his bag.

That volley which followed was more than just fair,
the paintballs collided in the midst of the air.
Johnny dove for new cover, and Santa moved too,
the place would be wrecked before they were through.

As their hoppers went empty and their shooting did quit,
Johnny wiped off his goggles, he couldn't see $hit.
Old Santa was crouching on one ancient knee,
and stacking the presents under the tree.

Johnny was aiming to shoot at him some more,
when the sight in his sights made his jaw hit the floor.
Santa ignored him, in his eye was a glisten,
as he layed out for Johnny a nitrogen system.

He went up the chimney as quick as he'd come,
he left Johnny dripping paint, emotionally numb.
He'd ambushed old Santa and was now feeling mean,
but Santa laughed last, he left him to clean.

Johnny straightened the stockings and he wiped up the paint.
He cleaned until morning, he thought he might faint.
Santa's an awesome player, he thought in his head,
as he trudged to his bedroom and into his bed.

Don't wait up for Santa on this Christmas Eve,
that jolly old fat guy has a trick up his sleeve.
If you've revenge in your eye like Johnny delouse,
you'll only get spanked and end cleaning the house.


Merry Christmas all!
:D

spyder_king06
12-22-2004, 08:05 PM
:tup:

PeYToN-SS
12-22-2004, 08:24 PM
Nice. Dodgy worthy :dodgy:

Paintballshurt
12-22-2004, 08:29 PM
FANTASTIC!:ninja:

Dark Master
12-22-2004, 08:44 PM
Haha, Nice post.

cheappaintman
12-22-2004, 08:56 PM
thats lovely:dodgy:

10-brink
12-22-2004, 10:30 PM
sweet

PBchris16
12-23-2004, 02:57 PM
you just gotta love Christmas dont yah...:D

Lord Delta
12-23-2004, 04:11 PM
That's awesome!!:laugh: :D

Superandy12
12-23-2004, 04:50 PM
:tup:

paintballer8807
12-23-2004, 06:48 PM
:tup:

Six Feet Under
12-23-2004, 06:54 PM
:tup:

Very nice. I think I'll print that out and give a copy to some family that plays paintball when we go to Kentucky on Christmas.

QuiksilverMV
12-23-2004, 06:56 PM
you get props, that's my x-mas gift to you...................props.

SpyderGnome
12-24-2004, 01:34 AM
man that sucks for johnny...he got owned by a fat man in a bright red suit...me thinks johnny needs work on his snake playing (couch)!

Andrew Orde
12-24-2004, 07:51 AM
that was actually worth my time. good story

I LUV PB
12-24-2004, 07:59 AM
lol :laugh:

Snoman13
12-24-2004, 10:10 AM
Old, (3rd xmas i've seen this) but still quality :tup:

dantriggerhappy
12-24-2004, 12:54 PM
Santa Sucks.

a_ak57
12-24-2004, 01:06 PM
That was pretty good.

stlyesom
12-24-2004, 03:01 PM
Haha, good stuff :laugh:

dillyman
12-24-2004, 03:59 PM
I Give You a 10!!

p8ntball-kid21
12-24-2004, 07:52 PM
http://www.network54.com/Forum/message?forumid=9013&messageid=1103924634

Sotex Killa07
12-24-2004, 07:59 PM
:tup: :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup:

funny stuff man