A Boy and His Thought

[Jack's Pancreas]

Another short story I wrote up, can be found at address below
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6178142/a_boy_and_his_thoughts.html

Please read and comment, criticism can only make me a better writer.

[Ironman289]

(IMHO) Not bad, it could be longer. You seem to drift in and out of detail but it does have a good story line. Keep at it and you'll get better.

[Jack's Pancreas]

Thanyou for the replies

[Govinda_T]

Yeah, it would be golden if you kept a consistent level of detail. Great read though man! :)