PDA

View Full Version : A Boy and His Thought


Jack's Pancreas
01-20-2011, 06:47 PM
Another short story I wrote up, can be found at address below
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6178142/a_boy_and_his_thoughts.html

Please read and comment, criticism can only make me a better writer.

Ironman289
01-20-2011, 11:23 PM
(IMHO) Not bad, it could be longer. You seem to drift in and out of detail but it does have a good story line. Keep at it and you'll get better.

Jack's Pancreas
01-24-2011, 05:31 AM
Thanyou for the replies

Govinda_T
02-03-2011, 03:53 PM
Yeah, it would be golden if you kept a consistent level of detail. Great read though man! :)