You might be a newbie if.....

[Bunker_King]

My friend and I decided to come up with a list of funny things that newbies do and think about paintball. I thought this might also help new players out with what NOT to do. Feel free to add on.

1. You spill paint out of the back of your hopper frequently
2. You think you're a sniper
3. You associate paintball with the military
4. You think dry firing your marker will scare your opponet
5. You surrender
6. You don't know what a marker is
7. You have recently purchased anything Brass Eagle
8. You think paint grenades are the shiznit
9. You think a paintball cannon would be the coolest thing ever
10. You try to make a silencer for your gun
11. You think the price of the marker is directly proportional to how good it is
12. You think you're better than the guy in the jersey because you got him out once
13. You don't know the difference between nitro and compressed air (no difference, duh)
14. You wear your new air Jordans to the field
15. You play with ice balls (dumb!!!)
16. When given cover fire, you run backwards
17. Stay in the back all day and don't shoot
18. Incessantly complain about how the guys w/ shiny markers only beat you because they have a better gun
19. You can't tell the difference between a BE raptor and and angel
20. You think one shot is sufficient cover fire for a teammate
21. You make excuses for why you are losing
22. You wear a ghillie suit
23. You wear multiple layers of clothing for padding
24. You can't understand why you're marker is sputtering
25. You are deathly afraid of people in jerseys
26. You don't squeegee after paint breaks in the barrel
27. You think a scope means someone is a sniper
28. The biggest game you've ever played was one on one
29. You have a gun before you've played a game yet
30. You think the longer the barrel, the more accurate it is

These were not meant to offend anyone in any way because WE ALL have done a few of these so just keep adding them.

[halB]

wow that brings back memories

[Ebonclaw]

You think "pumps suck" until you get gogged by the guy with the Phantom/Buzzard.

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by Bunker_King

5. You surrender
22. You wear a ghillie suit

I totaly dissagree with both of them. I may surrender somtimes becuase of somone may just have an impossible angle on me and hes liek 5 feet away or I may run out of paint. What am I sopose to do shoot Co2(I have done that before though)
And you like wearing a gullie suit makes you a newbie!? What the hell are you thinking? Guillie suits are used in wooded ball for people how may lie doown on the ground scoping people out

[wwhooper]

Only time I EVER surrender is if i've got no paint, no teammates, and the field dosen't have a bunkering rule (otherwise I would "go bayonet" and get them out by just touching their bunker). If i run out of paint in a game, what do I do? ask for paint from a teammate. If I'm the last one left, what do I do? Fight it out. I think those were the 2 scenarios Bunker King was talking about.

[Jeffo2448]

AvalonGT is absolutely right. How the hell are you a newbie if you wear a ghillie suit in a woods game!? :rolleyes: Anyways, most of those are things newbies do, and yes, I do surrender sometimes IF I'm out of paint.

[Ebonclaw]

Well, I have to really argue with the surrendering one. Let's say a guy flanks you and comes behind you, a few feet away very quietly and says "surrender". He's doing you a favor by not shooting the piss outta you when he has a guarenteed kill. i f you decide not to surrender, you'll likely come a long way from hitting him, he'll always hit you first (in which case a 1 for 1 is totally unfair, but it may happen due to a bad reffing call), and you'll STILL get shot. On the other hand, if a guy is across the field in front of you and tells you to surrender, light 'im up.

[Crash Danger]

you buy any kind of scope or sight for your gun.

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by Crash Danger
you buy any kind of scope or sight for your gun.
I totaly dissagree with that too. My freind is kinda big so he lays low on the ground in the woods infront of the flag. He has a tippmann a 20 in barrel and a SCOPE(and some other upgrades). He looks through the scope and jsut snipes people out when there running for the flag.And hes been playing paintball for 3 years.

[AK47]

"Dry Fire" I was out of paint and was dry firing to keep oppnents down, It worked untill I got bored and called out.

[AvalonGT]

You msut have been playing with idoit to think you have mroe paint.Like i said ive done that before.but you can only fire too long before they relize your outta paint. and then you jsut run/sit there till you get hit? and when your playing speed ball whats dry firing going to do?

[2k1AngelShooter]

Ok back to topic, your a newbe when:

1. You don't realize those little round plastic white things serve a purpose on the end of you CO2 tank.

2. Stand in Awe of the guy with the angel but then are amazed that he got shot when you and 4 of your newb' friends goto the same bunker as him and push him out (hmmm, do I sound bitter?).

3. Think your spyder tl+ is worth smack talking the electro owners over....

~Doug

[2k1AngelShooter]

Oh btw, your NOT a newbie if you still giggle everytime you say "cocker".

hehehe

[Ebonclaw]

Dude, Avalon, the thing is you should play with EXPERIENCED players. Turn off your powerfeed. Dry fire a few times. Great, here they come to bunker you, you're out of paint and they can tell from the sound. Now turn the feed back on and take your pick of targets.

[Bunker_King]

Like I said Avalon GT, these were not meant to offend any one, they are only personal opinions based on what I have seen. Like your friend w/ a 20in. barrel and scope and such, he may say he prefers that, but I would say it sounds pretty noobish to me. And, about surrendering, i meant if you surrender for anything other than like being out of paint or something. Ghillie suits, well, i prefer to work on skill rather than trying to hide from someone and hope they walk right next to me so i can pop em'

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by Ebonclaw
Dude, Avalon, the thing is you should play with EXPERIENCED players. Turn off your powerfeed. Dry fire a few times. Great, here they come to bunker you, you're out of paint and they can tell from the sound. Now turn the feed back on and take your pick of targets.
ok this may sound stupid but is that a insult or good thing?

[Ebonclaw]

No, I was just saying there IS a reason to dry fire in a game. No insult or anything intended.

[AvalonGT]

Oh ya I mean theres tons of reasons but im responding to the guy that said dry fire. Im talking about when you run out of paint. He said he dry fired till hr got bored it jsut dont happen like that

[ss115]

Originally posted by AvalonGT
You msut have been playing with idoit to think you have mroe paint.Like i said ive done that before.but you can only fire too long before they relize your outta paint. and then you jsut run/sit there till you get hit? and when your playing speed ball whats dry firing going to do?

Your friend sounds like a newbie to me (Not that there's anything wrong with it. We were all newbies at some point) . A 21 inch barrel serves no other porpose than to waste air and get in the way.

And a scope. Whats the point of it? The idea of a scope (for real guns) is to zoom in on your target from long distances. Chances are the paint won't reach that far. Also, scopes tend to give tunnel vision.

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by Bunker_King
Like I said Avalon GT, these were not meant to offend any one, they are only personal opinions based on what I have seen. Like your friend w/ a 20in. barrel and scope and such, he may say he prefers that, but I would say it sounds pretty noobish to me. And, about surrendering, i meant if you surrender for anything other than like being out of paint or something. Ghillie suits, well, i prefer to work on skill rather than trying to hide from someone and hope they walk right next to me so i can pop em'
You think its newbies to surrender? So you rather jsut get lit-up 5 feet away becuase its newbies to surrender. And it takes skill to blend in with the woods and have the eye to scope peopel out. You cant jsut put on a army jacket and jump in the woods and say your invisable. So wast your Co2/N2 dry firing or getting shoot up becuase its newbies to surrender

[ss115]

In responce to your most recent post. I agree with you, there's nothing wrong with surrendering.

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by ss115


Your friend sounds like a newbie to me (Not that there's anything wrong with it. We were all newbies at some point) . A 21 inch barrel serves no other porpose than to waste air and get in the way.

And a scope. Whats the point of it? The idea of a scope (for real guns) is to zoom in on your target from long distances. Chances are the paint won't reach that far. Also, scopes tend to give tunnel vision.
Its 20 in" and have you ever shoot one. It does not wast air and it does increase distance(not much) I bit more accurcy and it lowers the sound lever. A scope is for looking around for sombody to jsut stick there gun out and bam a shot firers and hes out.

[ss115]

I had a reply ready for your post that longer barrels= more distance, but I decided not to post it. This dissusion should be moved to another thread. Let's try to stay on topic here.

[Ebonclaw]

Yeah, I was thnking the same thing too....but I'll post mine shortly anyway.

How the heck does a paintball going 300 FPS out of a 20" barrel get any more range than a paintball going 300 FPS out a 12"?

[IromKnight]

Originally posted by Bunker_King
22. You wear a ghillie suit

yeah, tell that to the moderator, Crime Dog:rolleyes:

[AvalonGT]

Im not saying you'll get a hole lot of distance but there is a bit change in accuracy and it lowers the sound lever. Okoff the topic of the barrel. If you have such a strong feeling that im wrong come down to Virgina and test it out

[Ebonclaw]

You might be a newbie if you go out and buy camo to hide in before your first game....and then discover your woodland pattern doesn't help in the rocky canyon you're playing in.

You might be a newbie if you wear camo to speedball games.

(Nothing wrong with camo, I wear it in the woods, just please know what you're doing with it or you look like a moron.)

You might be a newbie if you have a Stingray II covered in camo tape with a 16" tru flight and a scope.
This one is true, it's what I had when I was a newbie, minus the camo tape.

[bassinboy1]

i really love that first post! the only ones i dont like are

You have recently purchased anything Brass Eagle
You try to make a silencer for your gun
.................................................. .................................

one i REALLY LIKE are:
16. When given cover fire, you run backwards
17. Stay in the back all day and don't shoot

but it should be, . Stay in the back all day AND shoot us refs in the back!

[halB]

to the surrendering thing, exact sentiments as ebonclaw, hes doing a favor, and if im outta paint, i wont surrender or call myself out, i go for it. i once wona ctf game with one pb by making everyone surrender. i ran up and dry fired and scared the crap outta them, and they surrendered in a second. and i must resist the urge to slap avalon for that longer barrel=longer distance crap, different thread different time.

[Dr. Isotope]

I've born witness to most of those.. but have to agree with the consensus that a ghillie suit shouldn't be on the list-- you must not play much outside of speedball if that's your attitude.

There's nothing like getting shot in the knee of calf-- and not knowing where the shot came from, and not being able to figure out where it came from until you see the Big Green Sheepdog coming off the field.

And I've made more than a few "supressors"-- mostly for those guys in the ghillie suits. :D

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by halB
to the surrendering thing, exact sentiments as ebonclaw, hes doing a favor, and if im outta paint, i wont surrender or call myself out, i go for it. i once wona ctf game with one pb by making everyone surrender. i ran up and dry fired and scared the crap outta them, and they surrendered in a second. and i must resist the urge to slap avalon for that longer barrel=longer distance crap, different thread different time. unless you had more than one person on the other team I don't believe you. If there more than 1 theres no way you just ran around going up to people dry firing making them all scared and they surrender. And how can you slap me? Like I said just come on over to Virginia and try the barrel out. Now lets just get back on the subject

[halB]

it was woods, people were spaced around. i find speedball too boring and skilless

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by halB
it was woods, people were spaced around. i find speedball too boring and skilless Liar you didn't just run around shooting making everybody surrender. and speedball is not skilless. it takes mor eskill for speedball instead of woods

[topguns195]

ill name some newbie things that go down at my field.

1.u think ur stingray or pro carbine without any upgrades can hit clear across the woods field.

2.u shout out the position of people after u are already hit.

3.u take off ur mask and run and shoot the guy in the *** because he accidentally hit u twice when he was tryin to hit 4 guys in one bunker from 25 yards away(sounds like i have a grudge dont it)

4.u pruposely turn ur gun over and fire pure liquid co2 through the gun just because it makes a big white cloud and u are totally unaware of the consequences of it.

5.u complain that the other team has more pro players(though in fact they are only people in jerseys and most of them dont even play tourney)

6.u have a 1000 dollar setup when u havent even played ur first game(ive seen some damn rich kids like this that really tick me off)

7.u pick up old paint off the ground thats size is no longer .689 but 1.000

8.u know of no other paintball brand but brass eagle(i admit i was once like this)

9.u still say ur the best though u really are beat all the other people u play 1on1 against and then blame it on ur gun, gear, field, etc.

10.u are a newbie if u have no fun whatsoever when u play anymore and everytime u lose u throw down ur gun and have a fit just because u got out. (even though u see pro players doing this, they are still showing signs of being a newbie.)

11. and my most important one. u are a newbie if u play energy paintball(the krap toy paintball guns that come with swim gogles and shoot goo) and say that u can compete in tourneys and beat everyone.

[PiranhaPunk342]

here is a list of things not to do and the people that do truly suck!
DO NOT:
Do not brag about getting the flag only after your loader falls off

Learn to identify the brand of paintball by its taste

install a windshield wiper system on your mask.

Have a custom Autococker and still get pinned down and
eliminated by a
player with a Talon.

Eliminate five players during one game, all of them your teammates.

do not try window entries.

Have paintballs left over from the past two years.

Take the field name “Paint Magnet”

Look like a clown after just one game

Have more marks (paintball hickeys) on your body than a player that stepped
on a bees-nest.

Hide, and have the smoke bomb in your back pocket snag a branch and go off.

Show up to play with a latex power painter (thats not a paintball gun people)

Shoot 10 paintballs before you realize your barrel plug is still in.

Hide in poison ivy

Mention that you were eliminated 10 times in a 30-minute unlimited lives
game.

Spend more money on snack food than paintballs.

Say your 9 ounce tank lasted all day

Throw a paint grenade without pulling the pin.

Catch the paint grenade when the other team throws it back

Spike the paint grenade to the ground after you catch it after the other team
threw it back at you after they pulled the pin of the grenade that you threw at
them without pulling the pin.

Be the one person gather around so everyone could see where they shot you

Be the winner of the “Golden Squeegee Award” for the player who most looks
like he went through a paintball carwash.

Wear a Camoflauge rain suit.

Fill in the tiny holes on the side of your barrel.

Use a drill to “rifle” the inside of your barrel.

Stand in front of a bunker facing the other team.

Admit that at your birthday party your mom eliminated more people than you had
in your two years of playing paintball.

[green_kat]

you stare down your barrel w/ out a mask to check for breaks.

[topguns195]

Have a custom Autococker and still get pinned down and
eliminated by a
player with a Talon.




ok i disagree with this. cause talons are the coolest. u aint cool unless u have a talon.

[green_kat]

... you aint cool unless you piss your pants.
~Billy Madison.

Being cool aint everything.

[topguns195]

well when ur a newbie or are a pro player being cool is everything. for all us players that are inbetween those too classes we couldn't give a **** about being cool at the field(or at least most of us)

[Micewheelz72]

you might be a newbie when you read the "Youre a newbie when.." section and learn something.

[Crash Danger]

oh, so you need what kind of gas to power a paintball gun?

[topguns195]

so u need to use gas. no wonder my paintballs would never fire.

[DasBaldDog]

I wouldn't say that anyone who surrenders is a newbie.....

I'd say that anyone who surrenders isn't a hardcore tourney player..... I'd much rather be lit up and stand a chance of running all the way across the field, grabbing the flag and making the hang, than give up.

[halB]

back to taking this whole thread off topic, i just read in the june issue of APG that 8-10 inch barrels are the best for range and accuracy, and past that they just interfere with the flight of the paintball, interesting....

[Bunker_King]

Originally posted by AvalonGT

Its 20 in" and have you ever shoot one. It does not wast air and it does increase distance(not much) I bit more accurcy and it lowers the sound lever. A scope is for looking around for sombody to jsut stick there gun out and bam a shot firers and hes out.

You need to take a physics class. A 20 in. barrel will not increase distance but rather decrease it because of friction and more distortion on the ball makes worse accuracy.:D

[Dr. Isotope]

based on an imperfectly round projectile and an imperfect propulsion system, paintball barrels are left with a fairly narrow window in which to operate; as the ball relies on the compression of gas behind it to propel it forward, the length of the barrel-- more accurately, the usable length of the barrel-- is in the relatively small range of 6.5" - 11.5".

Any shorter, and the gas will escape the barrel before the ball was reached its maximum muzzle velocity, and any longer, and the ball will be at the mercy of friction.

Now before any of you 14" guys start griping, measure how much porting is at the end of your barrel-- it will run anywhere from about 2.5" (leaving 11.5 inches of solid barrel) to perhaps 6 inches (leaving 8 inches of solid barrel)

Continuing along the same thread, and in an effort to rile some folks up :goody: --you know what all those neat holes at the end of your barrel do?

1. Reduce muzzle noise.
2. Give broken paint a place to run out.
3. There is no 3.

Ported barrels on firearms are for muzzle compensation. We don't need muzzle compensation. And any accuracy benefit of porting is virtually eliminated by the balls themselves. They sure do look neat, though. :nod:

[Bunker_King]

Let's keep posting on the original topic, but I definitely agree w/ your argument against really long barrels. I believe a 12in. is about the perfect size and anything longer is just used for sighting down the side of it, that is where personal preference comes in. If you surrender you're not necessarily a newbie, but when you surrender to a guy with no paint like i have seen before, then you are most definitely a newbie.:laugh:

Ghillie suits are okay, but just don't fit with my style of play or how paintball is played at most local fields.:)

[Crash Danger]

what's even the purpose of making 12 inch and bigger barrels then?

[Congobongo]

go read the barrel/paint boards theres a stickied post about barrel accuracy.

to add to the list:

Your a newbie if you think your gun is going full auto when your gun farts because its low on co2

[halB]

looks cool to some people and helps other people compensate for a small... well u know

[i like tictacs]

My Spyder will kick ur***



heheh...

lol......

[halB]

you might be a newbie if you think speedball is some sort of drug

[Bunker_King]

You might be a newbie if you brag about how you took out six guys when in reality the only person you took out was the ref.

[2k1AngelShooter]

Originally posted by Bunker_King
You might be a newbie if you brag about how you took out six guys when in reality the only person you took out was the ref.

LOL!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Ebonclaw]

You might be a newbie if you buy a flatline (or RT trigger) before you buy your revvy.

[AvalonGT]

Originally posted by Ebonclaw
You might be a newbie if you buy a flatline (or RT trigger) before you buy your revvy.
Well RT trigger yes but the Flatline doesn't really mean your a newbie. Some people like to hide and shoot from long distance. Most of the time if they hide like that they usealy wont shoot too fast and not that many balls

[PiranhaPunk342]

Your a newbie when you piss your pants because your playing against a player with a jersey OOOOO Scary:eyes: Or you piss your pants just because your playing someone with a Angel.

[Shazbot]

actual conversation with a friend of mine
m- me
h- him

m- hey, we should play in a speedball tournament sometime
h- dude, we'd get our asses kicked. they'd all have angels and stuff
m- they might have angels, but who cares? they'll fire a little faster, but what else?
h- dude, speedball is for electro guns
m-no, its not
h- I dont want to play against angels

:rolleyes: :laugh:

[Crash Danger]

your friend does have a point though

[cockernewb]

:laugh: I'll tell you guys of some things newbish I see go on here and at my field.

1.You think your low end semi is better than any electro any human can produce.
2.You think a Tippmann 98 C w/ an e-bolt can get 18 bps.
3.You carry a 16 oz co2 as a spare in your butt pack for when you 4 oz runs out.:rolleyes:
4.You laugh and say "All guns are autocockers".
5.You think you can beat an Angel w/ a Talon 1-on-1
6.You try to shoot somone 100 yds away.
7.You refuse to move up even when the game is over
8.You think "good" strategy is to send just you against a whole scenerio team.
9.You allways fire your marker to make sure you have the safety off
10.You think playing paintball,is the next best thing to being in the army.
11.You think "good" speedball,is when your team starts in a valley and must go up hill w/ out any cover.
12.You think your playing speedball when you play w/ out any bunkers.
13.You hide in the pipes in Hyperball.

:laugh: :laugh:

[amz370]

first of all there are pro's who hide in the pipes ive seen some guys just kinda snipe almost

u might be a newb if u pick up the paint from the pile on the ground and thinks if u dust it of a lil it'll be ok
if u think u can put an angel lcd frame on ne gun
if u think u need to mill ur tl+
if u where bright red shirt under ur camo jaket...once it reaches noon u relize ur hot so u take off ur jacket
if u a spyder qualifies as a high end semi
if u want to spend 500 bucks onn ur new perahna
if u think a welt has no value
if u think that time u tripped over that bunker is a battle wound
if u wait in the frathest back bunker until the last 2 minuets and fire at random spots and finall get bunkered by a fellow nueb
if u think theat field amrker is the best thing ever
if u think an automag is full auto
if u look at a free flow cocker very inquisitvly and ask if it's an angel
if u think a bunker is something in ur way
if u think beer and pizza is not a "suitable meal" for paintballing professionals....it is to me (or instaed of beer u might instert a beaverage of choice)
if u think that a 10 man team is a pussies game....the only real type of play is with 75 people on each side
if u dislike angels without a reason other than it's over rated...i can shoot my spyder faster

[AngelsHolocaust]

wear a 6+1 pack with no pods while running a 9 oz tank on a remote from a spyder

think spyder shutters are heavy

think autocockers are automatic

think that if you had an electro the only mode you would use is f/a

field strip your spyder and let the parts fly out

think all paintballs are the same

think pink paint is ***

think purple paintball guns are ***

frequently take off your mask

frequently shoot off your barrel plug

[Crash Danger]

Originally posted by AngelsHolocaust
think purple paintball guns are ***


I love you. :laugh:

[cocker kid 2k2]

this kid i kno thought that electro's didnt need an air source he thought they ran off of electricity hahahahaha

my other friend brought his gun to a proshop to ask whats wrong with it bc it wouldnt fire...... he never cocked the gun:rolleyes:

a bunch of kids i kno think that angels r the best just bc their fully automatic:laugh:

more kids i kno think that nitrogen hurts way way more than co2 (typical newbies)

[the other one]

well i think we all are newbies at something. Me- im new with fully auto electro guns. i have never used one. i don't know how to turn one on. does that make me a newbie? not if you see me with my standard blowback.

some people, i have noticed, are new to woodsball. some are new to speedball. some are new to playing for money or playing on teams.

oh yeah, some of those posts are funny as heck

[Bunker_King]

I'm loving these posts, keep them coming. I almost fell over in my chair laughing.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Galaxy_Class]

Newbie says, a $300 pump, what are you crazy.

[2k1AngelShooter]

Stock Class Pumps are pretty expensive.

[UTLadiesMan]

This one really annoys me. If there are more than 5 newbies there I am guaranteed to hear it.

"Yeah, I need some more bullets."

[2k1AngelShooter]

LOL, OMG how many times have I heard that.

[AngelsHolocaust]

newbies get a spyder compact, after their second time paintballing they "need" a new gun, they think it wont make them suck

[Sudden Impact]

Ive heard almost all of them...my favorite 3 are:

they dont know how to cock the gun

nitrogen hurts more than co2

&

I need more bullets...

*LMAO*

[AngelsHolocaust]

it bugs me when newbs say helmet instead of goggles or mask

[wwhooper]

I don't like them calling paintballs bullets

[wwhooper]

Well simon, about that busting a ball part, sometime I chop on my cocker REAL BAD and the bolt gets stuck. Normally I have to bet someone with clean, completely dry hands to get it out or use pliars. But I think that is only on cockers, most guns will just chop the ball in half.

[anonymous1475]

U think u have to pump a pump to supply air pressure

[2k1AngelShooter]

Originally posted by anonymous1475
U think u have to pump a pump to supply air pressure

LOL, like a squirt gun!!!

Ok, thats the best to date!