Funniest Paintball Moments [Archive]

Virus780

11-07-2002, 02:55 PM

Put some funny or odd things that happened when you last went paintballing...

About a week ago, me and 3 friends went paintballing with about 80 more people at a paintball field with little houses and buildings. My friend went into a building to shoot off the invaders. He wasn't the "slim type of player", so he wasn't fully into the building yet. His *** was sticking out of the doorway, literally! You look at the entrance from the side and you see a big round thing sticking out. A few moments later he was shot by some kind of electro gun from the other team. He had five blue circle spots on his ***. He told be it left a few bruises. Ouch!!!

A few games later a fight broke up inside a bunker cause everyone shot one guy who rushed into the bunker and yelled surrender. Apparently no one listened and shot him. There must of been six or seven other people who shot one man from about five to ten feet away.

ziggo_777

11-08-2002, 03:33 PM

A kid jumped over the snake one time and broke his arm and started screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD"...I spose that was odd.:)

2-Cool-4-Life

11-08-2002, 05:06 PM

well, this one time i was running off the break, down a hill, and the path i took, didnt have many bunkers...so i just kept running, after a couple seconds...i notice there's none of my teammates round...so i hit the first bunker i come upon...but it turns out, its no taller then my chest, when i'm on my knees, my head was fully exposed, so i got shot straight on the head, at the same time, my elbow fell off my gun (i lost the spring the night before, it was a piece of cardboard holding the elbow) so, i walk off the field with a dent in my head, and a screwed up elbow...nothing a lil card board didnt fix....

topguns195

11-08-2002, 05:15 PM

this is one of the funnier, yet retarded moments ive seen in paintball in a while. who is that running thru the woods, could it be jeremy salm:pissed:

Mutated Goose

11-08-2002, 05:20 PM

Salm's jersey sponsorship must have ended lol.

Natural Newbie

11-09-2002, 05:24 PM

Originally posted by Mutated Goose
Salm's jersey sponsorship must have ended lol.

lol

xLiLHockeyFreak

11-11-2002, 02:01 PM

Originally posted by Mutated Goose
Salm's jersey sponsorship must have ended lol.
laugh

bobalis

11-11-2002, 02:34 PM

i was at my local field and i tried to walk around the action cuz i was out but i didn't realize there was a 10 ft cliff right in front of me and i fell and broke my elbow! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Natural Newbie

11-11-2002, 02:35 PM

ouch, what field was that???

bobalis

11-11-2002, 03:26 PM

oh i forgot to mention that it was my GUNS elbow, not MY elbow. It was at a place called Hell Survivors in Pinkey. MI

Darrell

11-11-2002, 03:27 PM

a kid got shot and scream like the guys on saving privet ryan bettal scene. then he went knee first on the ground covering his hart then gose to the ground . it was the funnies thing ever

Natural Newbie

11-11-2002, 03:27 PM

hehe well its good that it was your guns. ya u mentioned the 10 foot cliff and i was like, HEY!, that sounds like the masters course at hell survivors :D , i play there alot, maybe ill cya there someday:)

Paintballer27

11-11-2002, 04:43 PM

I don't have that much paintball experience but this happened 2 days ago.

Me and my cousin were playing paintball and he was hiding behind this tree just shooting at me. He had way to good cover and was in there good. I decided that he would most likely win and I was going to go psycho. I started running back and forth in the open yelling die you son of a ***** and just shooting massively. I duck behind a tree and decide to run full blast at him. I start running and shooting and he's there panicking (that's what he told me after the game) He keeps missing me (we were playing with 2 talons). ALl this time I'm praying that any balls don't break. Finally I get to the tree where he is and I''m like right behind him and he's looking back and forth. He was too close to take a chance to get him to surrender so I shot him(he had a winter jacket on). He yelled because it hurt a bit and I can't stop laughing that my plan actually worked.

moabrider69

11-11-2002, 05:08 PM

when i justed learned what paintball was my friend and neighbor took me out in the woods and played me. he had a hammer that always shot hot and i had a talon.whenever he would hit it would always hit me in my leg where it gives u charley horses so me being the inexperienced player it hurt like sh*t.it left huge bruses. it hurt so bad i used to cry but that was when i was 9 and i was a total wussy. now days i have a second year college impulse on the way and he has an upgraded autococker.

xLiLHockeyFreak

11-11-2002, 07:29 PM

lol the one about breaking your elbow but then letting us know it was ur guns elbow is funny... and the one that the kid fell and held his heart was funny..... that always happens to the field im at........ sc village.... when the newbs come, they follow me and bring alotta attention, then they get shot and throw their rentals in the air and dive in ground in pain and they crunch up and start screaming,.... i feel sorry yet its funny at the same time.......

mearleman

11-11-2002, 07:51 PM

ziggo_777 A kid jumped over the snake one time and broke his arm and started screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD"...I spose that was odd.

HAHA, i know it shouldnt be funny but thats hilarious especially the "OH MY GOD" part:D

mike:eyes:

cocker kid 2k2

11-12-2002, 02:29 AM

Originally posted by bobalis
i was at my local field and i tried to walk around the action cuz i was out but i didn't realize there was a 10 ft cliff right in front of me and i fell and broke my elbow! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

fields arent allowed to have cliffs, near by. somebody could get seariously hurt, they should block off that area so nobody falls down there. firs ttime somebody breaks a plastic elbow then they break the real elbow. not always the case, just a possibility

Denwad

11-12-2002, 02:50 AM

I'd be really mad, because I have to order all my paintball stuff off of the 'net, and seeing that I'm only 13, I've to get my dad to do it.

Well, first time I went paintball in a field in Germany called (I think) Bitburg Blitz, well, when I walked on the field, I got shot in the *** by my friend. :laugh:

Taste_Me

11-12-2002, 08:39 AM

I have two and both are about a game of President.

Recently some friends and I were out playing in the woods and we brought a couple of kids who had never played before. Well the day went well and every one had fun and a couple of the n00bs where not doing half bad so toward then end of the day people began to run out of paint. This is when we decided to play Prez and make one of the n00bs who had no paint El Presidenta. So we started the game and I was escorting the Prez (we called him Castro) with two other guys. as we walk every thing was fine until one of the "snipers" burst out of the leaves he had buried him self in well need less to say he shot all three escorts in then back (including myself) and then he shot El Presidenta, and he continued to shoot him while this little High School Freshman began to run in circles whilst jumping up and down and screaming. The kid probably got shot close to 20 times before the sniper stopped, well we later foun out that the sniper kept shooting cause you always have to shoot El Presidenta in the head to eliminate him and with this kids small head and his running and jumping the sniper couldn't him.

About a week after that I was at Splatter Park in Ohio playing in a rec group. well there was a kid there all decked out in his custom cocker with all DYE equipment and an attitude. so all through out the day he was shooting hot and A LOT of experienced players including some refs claimed to see the kid wiping paint so when it came time for a game of Prez they decided to make this kid the Prez. The game went fine and he and one other person managed to sneak around and win the game well as they came back all 40 some odd players where sitting at the top of a hill with the refs. the refs walked around the group and told everyone that on their signal we where to all shoot the **** out of this kid. So as this kid walked out of the bushes tired and dragging his gun the ref yelled "LIGHT HIM UP!" so what else was there to do. All 40 people sitting on to of this hill RAIN paint on this little punk as he high tails it out in to the woods. we all picked up and walked back to the staging are while the kid follows with who knows how many welts covering his body.

X_Brolly_X

11-12-2002, 08:51 AM

ROFL! I hate ppl like that, good thing you guys got even.:D

pyropig

11-12-2002, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by cocker kid 2k2

fields arent allowed to have cliffs, near by. somebody could get seariously hurt, they should block off that area so nobody falls down there. firs ttime somebody breaks a plastic elbow then they break the real elbow. not always the case, just a possibility

That is masters field and it is the best dang field there. Nothing beats forty foot walls of mud. It is the favorite field of almost anyone who plays there. But sadly the owner is being a retard and turning it into a freakin' storage area :pissed: .

Natural Newbie

11-12-2002, 05:11 PM

ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! when is he doing that??? :|

PrayThenSpray

11-12-2002, 05:33 PM

Okay you wanna here the stories of my first time paintballing?

A couple of friends and I went out into their woods a good 2 acre lot filled with bur's trees and trip line. I was on a team with another beginner and the most experienced guy there. We went up the hill and flushed the woods. All was well until the two players on the opposing team appeared in the trees. Jim(The most experienced on my team) Took aim and masked the higher player(Mark). Mark called himself out and his teammate (Tyler) took off deeper into the burs. We chased him and couldnt catch him. After 20 minutes of resweeping the woods we thought he might have given up and went to the refilling station which was designated as a little grassy area near the house. So we made it into the short field right before the refilling station and Tyler was nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden I heard him behind us! He had followed us the whole time. My instict was to drop into the high weeds that we were standing in. So I turned while falling to pop a shot off at him. Before I knew it the game was over Jim had flanked to the back of tyler and shot him out three times in the side. Well we made our way to the refilling station next and thought about what to play next. I decided to play an assassination game me being the one being assassinated. It was the same teams but one of the players was switched, The game was going well. We had tagged one of the terrorists once and he (Adam) was running, when all of a sudden we heard a pop and saw an explosion. To our hysterical laughter Adams Stingray had blown up! That was the end of that game. Maybe the end of the day, but luckily Mark had a couple extra pieces and the gun was fixed. We threw a pizza in and ate lunch and headed back out. Everyone was tired so we just ran around in the field shooting. I took a shot the the head, side, back, arm, and hand. Only the hand had a break but I called myself out. Mark was gogged, and Adam took a shot in the mouth. To his astonishment paint tasted bad. The day seemed over but guess not. Adam picked up the just fixed stingray and started popping me with it. I had a friends Tippman 98 custom and unloaded on his poor stingray. Then decided to run and take cover. Not thinking Adam Popped me right in the A**!! That was it that called an end to the day. What a fine first day of paintball there will be many more!

Ill have pics soon ill post them here after I get them scanned!

bobalis

11-12-2002, 07:20 PM

funny story.

When did Hell Survivors decide to make the masters a storage field?

SpUnKy-BoLtOn

11-13-2002, 04:06 PM

Hey Taste Me, r u from Ohio, and if u r, where are u from? O ya, and did u play president on that one trail right by mounds?

N e ways, heres my story. I was playing at that fort area at Splatterpark in Ohio. I got to play one round, then ran out of paint. So, since we play 2 games at each area, I got to help ref for the second game. The game started, and I walked behind the fort to scope it out. I was standing back there and this kid got shot. I was about to call him out, but then he wipes, and turns to me, not knowing I was reffing, and says "you guys didn't see that, right?" So, i said back to him "wrong, *******. get off the field" and he asked me to escort him off the field, and I just said "u better run fast, *****, cuz I'm not gonna help u get out." So the idiot runs right across the middle and the people attacking the fort all shot at him. Everyone missed, but this guy with an IR3 shot him about 6 times. It was sweet, and I laughed my *** off, but the best part was that he had to sit out for 4 games. God I hate wipers.

Virus780

11-14-2002, 12:27 PM

This kid showed up at the field me and my friends went to about a month ago. He was asking all these obvious questions and was very nervous. He came up to me and asked, "what is the objective of this game?" (playing capture the flag). I told him it was to take the flag and bring it back to the opposite side. Opposite side meaning our side. Heh, when the horn sounded, the game began. The kid ran to our flag, grabbed it and ran to the other side as fast as he could. The kid ran like forest gump. He was yellin, I got it, I got it!!
What a dumb ****.:finger:

LadderingABC_Yu

11-14-2002, 12:44 PM

LadderingABC_Yu

11-14-2002, 12:45 PM

Originally posted by topguns195
this is one of the funnier, yet retarded moments ive seen in paintball in a while. who is that running thru the woods, could it be jeremy salm:pissed:

lmao, rofl, lol, haha, what a losr:laugh: :P :laugh:

LadderingABC_Yu

11-14-2002, 12:55 PM

well i guess it's time 4 me to tell mine
everyone was laughing except me:(

i was play trench to trench
there was 3 trenches and there are about 4 feet deep
and 2 feet wide
and 10 feet long
well it was 3 v 1(me, middle) v 5
as us being in middle u get screwed
well i just sat there waiting 4 them to elimate 1 side
then they bought tippmann grenades
each of them had 2
i didn't know about this
but they set it up just 4 me b/c i pwnz their asses the other day
then they stop 4 like 15 sec theres silence and i c 16 grenades come into my trench
i got soaked and they were tippmann squad busters
MAN THAT STUFF DRYS FAST AND STINKS LIKE ****!!!:pissed: :pissed: :pissed:
then 2 get back @ them (i'm 200lbs, can bench press 250)
i spear about 5 of them b/c their skinny into that trench filled stink pit
so they got some of their own medacine
:D

Bront

11-14-2002, 01:34 PM

Originally posted by Virus780
This kid showed up at the field me and my friends went to about a month ago. He was asking all these obvious questions and was very nervous. He came up to me and asked, "what is the objective of this game?" (playing capture the flag). I told him it was to take the flag and bring it back to the opposite side. Opposite side meaning our side. Heh, when the horn sounded, the game began. The kid ran to our flag, grabbed it and ran to the other side as fast as he could. The kid ran like forest gump. He was yellin, I got it, I got it!!
What a dumb ****.:finger:

That would be an interesting twist, both teams starting with the flag and having to post it on the other station...

I remember one of the first times I was playing, one of the guys had bought a smoke grenade. The first one he had, he ripped the chord and threw it. All we heard was someone who screamed "Ouch" down the field. Apparently it was a dud. So, the field gave him a new one, and he used that the next game. Worked great, but his arm had this blue/black dust all over it afterwards.

LadderingABC_Yu

11-15-2002, 01:24 PM

Up.
need funnies :D :P :laugh: :P :D

LadderingABC_Yu

11-16-2002, 10:57 AM

UP!!!.

LadderingABC_Yu

11-18-2002, 01:12 PM

Up.:mad:

PballdudE

11-18-2002, 01:36 PM

Well it was my first time playing at a field. I decided to go on the scenario field, and it was a game of about 10vs10. I saw one guy walking and started to shoot at him. Now I was a good 40 yards away, so I wasnt really close. I popped some shots into the air expecting one to land on him. Instead, one paintball was arching through the air, and hit his ***. I lost track of the paintball when it was arching, but then I saw a dimple in his ***, which was the paintball. Then he fell on the ground and started to cry, and he was about 14.. It was funny.

About my fourth time playing at a field I was on the scenario again in a game of 8vs8. One guy on my team got hit in the hopper but didn't see it. I got his attention and told him. He just wiped it off with his shirt. I got pissed and told him he should go to the netted area because he's out. He just said no, and then asked me to cover for him. I said sure. As he ran I list his *** up, and he scremed like a ***** getting lit up by me. it was funny.

LadderingABC_Yu

11-18-2002, 02:22 PM

hehe i shoot ppl in the *** @ random b/c it's funny and no one ever knows that i did it :D :D :D :D :D

123justin

11-18-2002, 05:14 PM

I guess my stories might be funny....

My first time paintballing was at Sgt. Splatters in Toronto, Ontario. I rented a Tippman Custom98. I was kneeling down behind a car when I see across the whole entire field, an opponent in the second floor window. Me being a newbie, I decided to run in the middle of the field shooting like a mad man trying to aim perfectly on him. Little did I know that the paintballs didnt even reach that far. To make matters worse was the guy I was shooting at had a response-triggered flatline tippman and nailed me in the neck.

Another little story. I was playing in the woods during winter with a lot of snow on the ground. I was crawling on the snow through mini baby evergreen trees. As I was crawling around I suddenly fell head first about 2 metres. Luckily I didn't land on my neck/head. I took a look around and found myself in an old stone-walled water well. I don't know why a well was there because this part of the forest has been a forest for quite some time. Next thing I know is I hear my cousin running at top speed, following my footprints in the snow. I waited so I could surrender him since the water well was kinda of like a trench. My cousin didn't slow down and ended up smashing into me and we both fell down into the water well again. This time I got hurt pretty bad since my cousin weighs about 220 pounds.

My other cousin wanted to play paintball so bad. He's only 13 but hes already 6 feet tall. Anyways, he only has a plastic Vulcan pump marker WITHOUTH a hopper! So I'm playing with a Spyder Compact with a hopper. We got 1v1 except that my cousin has to find a paintball in his pocket then roll it down the feed tube, then pump the arm back, take aim, then pull the trigger and repeat this process. It was a sad and funny scene at the same time. I gotta love his ambition to play. LOL, playing without a hopper.

LadderingABC_Yu

11-18-2002, 06:11 PM

no hopper = revy war
1 ball feeding
makes u take aim
i always win b/c i have a stock and scope
:D :D :D
some ppl can't aim :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Jgo Factor

11-19-2002, 08:47 AM

One time I was playing paintball and we got into direct contact w/the other team (we were playing in the woods). Some guy from the other team managed to hit one of the refs below the belt. :finger: Too bad that ref decided not to wear a cup :finger: Its even funnier because a few games later when he recovered from that and reffed, the paintball left a splat mark in that area of his pants for the rest of the day. :laugh:

commandman10

11-20-2002, 11:58 AM

Well igot a funny story sotra like Taste me with a kid with his fancy autoccker and all this other shniz and he was cheating and he was a rich snoob.So i was in a bunker with him and he took his armband off and said he didnt need it.Being that im about 250 pounds and hes like 100 i puished him out of a bunker and shot him in the balls.We wre in the middle of a big firefight so everyone shooting at him because evyone thought he was on the other team.I shot him everyone did haha it wass so fun.I almost felt bad he was crying and the reffs laughed at him and warned me.It was the best day of my life

ziggo_777

11-20-2002, 12:56 PM

Originally posted by commandman10
Well igot a funny story sotra like Taste me with a kid with his fancy autoccker and all this other shniz and he was cheating and he was a rich snoob.So i was in a bunker with him and he took his armband off and said he didnt need it.Being that im about 250 pounds and hes like 100 i puished him out of a bunker and shot him in the balls.We wre in the middle of a big firefight so everyone shooting at him because evyone thought he was on the other team.I shot him everyone did haha it wass so fun.I almost felt bad he was crying and the reffs laughed at him and warned me.It was the best day of my life

You shot him in the junk?:eyes: You could've just shot him in the back, he would've gotten the picture. You didn't have to go for the nuts.:finger:

commandman10

11-21-2002, 10:37 AM

well i dint care i just pointed my gun at him and shot him.Its not like itreid to hit his nuts but it was funnier that way.and plushe wore a cup but some of it was like outside the cup you know what i mean or so he said.

LadderingABC_Yu

11-21-2002, 01:04 PM

2 much info ...

LadderingABC_Yu

11-21-2002, 01:05 PM

and is ur feild cheap?
can't afford armbands 4 both
lol

ziggo_777

11-21-2002, 03:34 PM

Originally posted by commandman10
well i dint care i just pointed my gun at him and shot him.Its not like itreid to hit his nuts but it was funnier that way.and plushe wore a cup but some of it was like outside the cup you know what i mean or so he said.

Too...much...bad grammar and spelling...head spinning GAAAAAAAAAAAAH...:dizzy:

LadderingABC_Yu

11-21-2002, 05:30 PM

itz al coo 2 tak al ghetto no foo
:laugh:

Virus780

09-15-2003, 04:37 PM

Any more??

This thread is really old... I started it awhile back. It kinda resurected back from the dead.

MrTiggleBitties

09-15-2003, 04:50 PM

AHHHHH! A ZOMBIE THREAD

Blood_Eyed

09-15-2003, 08:50 PM

me and a few friends go paintballing everyweekend and a few weeks ago one of my friends was being chased by me so he dove in a pipe and that hoe just started rolling down the hill, i was shooting inside and they were hitting him while he was justa rollin down the hill, it was funny till he ran into a tree,,,,,,,,,,,,then it was just hilarious.

xIrish

09-16-2003, 09:14 PM

I was playing with against my brothers and their friends one time in woodsball, it was me vs. everyone (their choice) hide and seek. Normally I seek all five of them, but this time they reversed it and made me the hider. They were acting like it was Saving Private Ryan, it was hilarious.

I was sitting in some brush and I saw one of them coming up and I shot him. He cried out, grasped his leg and fell to the ground.

"Ahhhhhh, I'm hit, I'm hit!"
the others soon rushed to his aid
"MAN DOWN!"

I fired more shots at them, hitting my brother in the stomach.

"Were under heavy fire--OMG my stomach!" he then starts rolling on the ground...hes a baby, he wears 3 jackets went paintballing (hes only 10, along with his friends)
His buddies came and started shooting all around them at the brush like Rambo. One ball actually made it past it, but it was about 5 feet away from me.

Later in the game (we were playing till I ran out of paintballs) two of them were "scouting the area" when I saw them running around looking for me, seemingly making as much noise as possible. they stopped for a second (they're not exactly "in shape), and started talking about star wars.

I fired a shot that missed, and then fired a second which hit him right in the zipper area. It made the loudest thud because he wears extra underwear, and he just screamed bloody mary.

"Sniper!" his friend yelled as I started firing at him. He then ran and left the kid I shot in the balls behind.

Mercurius

09-21-2003, 11:28 PM

Once, at Mike Greenwell's in Ft. Myers, I was playing on the speedball field with the cars for bunkers. I looked under the car and saw two pairs of feet, so I circled around to get a better angle, popped up and fired one shot with my trusty old Raptor Green.

The damn thing doublefed and shot one ball into each of them! I fell to the ground laughing when they both yelled HIT! at the same time, it was that funny.

A while before that, me and the guys from work decided to play some outlaw ball in the park at night. This was before I had a paintball gun, so I gave them money to buy paint and 12 grams and they lent me a Talon Ghost. My team was circling the woods in the center of the park when the guy on the other team turned on his red dot sight and started blasting us. I dropped to the ground and started pumping off shots at the light, but I couldn't hit him.

So, I got up and started circle-strafing him like I was playing Counter-Strike, running and pumping, running and pumping, and still neither of us took any hits. I managed to scurry back to where we were before, got under cover, then tried to strafe him again. This time he actually led me and nailed me about halfway through the strafe in the left cheek (not the one you wear a mask for) and completely dropped me. I yell that I'm hit and start waving around this white handkerchief, but a few seconds later, he keeps shooting at me. I'm like, WTF?! Anyway, a bit later the game ended and we went back to the base. I learned two things:

1) I was shooting blanks when I was strafing the guy with the red dot sight. The 45 round hopper on the Talon Ghost had jammed. :mad2:
2) They were playing 'Ironman rules' or something, where basically, 'you keep playing even if you're hit until you don't feel like getting hit anymore'.

Man, I could've stood to have known that earlier.

5left

09-22-2003, 07:18 AM

wife ran out of paint...I ran dropped off a pod to her, then went to the next bunker...I had my back to the bunker, so my body was facing my wifes direction (her first time with her eblade) well, the trigger was just too touchy and she shot me in the groin...from about 10 feet away...

I wasn't laughing...everyone else was though...

PILMAN

09-22-2003, 10:05 AM

my hopper falling off my elbow during a game and getting bunkered, my brother shooting him self in the foot with his brand new bob long intimidator not even 10 seconds into the game, and I guess when I was running yesterday in a game when my pants split open everyone started laughing :confused: despite the fact they were split everyone still wanted me to play and said "don't worry if your weiners hanging out if anyone looks their ***". Despite I tried to put electical tape where it ripped by my...crotch...and uh I went out there sat at a bunker and I got nailed 3 times....I guess that electrical tape was like a "target". Man talk about bad luck. :rolleyes: