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Old 02-03-2005, 05:37 PM   #1
Lopez17
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Cool The "OFFICIAL" Jaster Story Thread

This is your chance to post and tell (fiction or non fiction) stories about the one and only, the legendary Jaster!

<dramatic pause>

The members of the official Jaster Fan Club can probably offer some really great memories. Feel free to write in prose, write haiku's, sonnets or ballads to the legend of Jaster.

So...who's first up to take a crack at some creative writing???


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Originally posted by Jaster
I'd have given someone's arm for a U-Haul and 20 minutes alone with a forklift.
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Old 02-03-2005, 07:43 PM   #2
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Haha, I this was supposed to be a continuation of that thread Jaster made about cops that just never wanted to die
This is cool, too.


Hmm, I remember this one time where people were talking about how to make napalm, or something deadly that wasn't allowed to be discussed here, in this very forum. I reported the thread and recieved a PM from Jaster regarding it. He made it sound like I was in trouble because of the thread, too. I was really scared and confused while reading it, until the end where he said something like, "Oh, if you're wondering, you're not in trouble, thanks for reporting that."
After I processed what he said, I bursted out in laughter. After I replied to that PM, he sent me another saying how much he loved to do that to people, and hell, if I had a ban button, so would I.
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Old 02-07-2005, 11:16 AM   #3
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I remember that!

So Lopez.... The official Jaster Roast?
I think you should promise that no one will get banned for what they write

I'm surprised Homer,4th, Bones haven't filled this yet.

I'll have to think of some of my better life stories to post up.
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Originally posted by GranDreamUse the search, Luke.
Originally posted by Lopez17It's really quite amusing to see the difference between talent and ego
Originally posted by teufelhunden You'd think stickies are there to make the forum pretty...
Originally posted by Killer Kat: Don't feed the Jaster from your hand! He bites!!
Originally posted by cocker kid 2k2 :Shut your trap while the big boys are talking.
Originally posted by Homer:Jaster is the Master.
Originally posted by iplaynaked:This....is the Jaster. All I'm going to say to you about him is....don't make him angry.

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Old 02-10-2005, 01:58 PM   #4
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reading

I remember reading a pretty recent thread were Jaster had grammatically corrected literally every post so they all had the........Jaster was Here signature on them that was cracking me up pretty hard example:

Before:

peh grot wuz drankin own tup ov da hil.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After:

The Goat was drinking on top of the hill.

Jaster was here

On a more serious note if you are someone that seriously writes like that in the "Before" example please go to your Guidance counselor and inform them of your problem or tell your parents. Yeah its funny, but after reading all the threads in this forum I'm actually beginning to feel Kind of depressed

Last edited by Captain Exar : 02-11-2005 at 05:53 PM.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:12 AM   #5
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it took me all day to translate those too... Who would have thought that English would be so hard for a group of people that live in an English speaking country...
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Originally posted by GranDreamUse the search, Luke.
Originally posted by Lopez17It's really quite amusing to see the difference between talent and ego
Originally posted by teufelhunden You'd think stickies are there to make the forum pretty...
Originally posted by Killer Kat: Don't feed the Jaster from your hand! He bites!!
Originally posted by cocker kid 2k2 :Shut your trap while the big boys are talking.
Originally posted by Homer:Jaster is the Master.
Originally posted by iplaynaked:This....is the Jaster. All I'm going to say to you about him is....don't make him angry.

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Old 02-20-2005, 07:38 AM   #6
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man that is crazy
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Old 02-26-2005, 10:50 AM   #7
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Heh, I liked that story Jaster told of how he went up to a kid on the street and pulled up his pants. Heh, twas funny...
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Old 03-05-2005, 06:42 AM   #8
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haha Jaster kills me...I think we all remember the COPS 911 Whatcha Gonna Do? Thread.


EDIT- OMG! How could I have forgotten! Jaster didn't know something once! It was about an Alias barrel and whether or not CP backs could fit on it...we then found out Alias' barrels are single not two piece.
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Old 03-06-2005, 10:30 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by PbAllWiZZ
Heh, I liked that story Jaster told of how he went up to a kid on the street and pulled up his pants. Heh, twas funny...
lmao

One of my friends did that to someone once.
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:53 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by PbAllWiZZ
Heh, I liked that story Jaster told of how he went up to a kid on the street and pulled up his pants. Heh, twas funny...
I still do that to kids They get so ticked off at me but do nothing as I stand in front of them. I just REALLY have no interest in seeing Johny's BVD's or the crack.
You guys should see me in the mall


anyone remember the "Hornet nest" story?
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--------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by GranDreamUse the search, Luke.
Originally posted by Lopez17It's really quite amusing to see the difference between talent and ego
Originally posted by teufelhunden You'd think stickies are there to make the forum pretty...
Originally posted by Killer Kat: Don't feed the Jaster from your hand! He bites!!
Originally posted by cocker kid 2k2 :Shut your trap while the big boys are talking.
Originally posted by Homer:Jaster is the Master.
Originally posted by iplaynaked:This....is the Jaster. All I'm going to say to you about him is....don't make him angry.

--------------------------------------------------
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Red/Yellow Fade LP Classic Timmy, Bob Long Torpedo Reg., Claw Trigger, CP Adj. Ram Cap, Modified Delrin Bolt, CP Flame Drop Forward, Empire On/Off, WAS 2.8 Equalizer bd., WAS Eye, WAS Switch, Twisted Low Rise, Custom Red Oak Grips
Pure Energy 45/45 and 68/45 12" STIFFI Barrel, 14" CP 2 Piece, Red Halo B


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Old 03-10-2005, 05:16 PM   #11
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um whos jaster.....is it a chick.....
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:55 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by JohnRambo
um whos jaster.....is it a chick.....
Oh, you silly 05ers
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Old 03-10-2005, 09:08 PM   #13
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jaster....

the master
the cool-cat ghetto blaster
the mod
the man
the one who gets angry
and then starts to ban

he's got rhthym
he's got style
i haven't seen
him post in a while

but nonetheless
he is the best
for me and you
and all of pbreview

we love you jaster!


(ok, that's my attempt at the jaster rap)
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Old 03-15-2005, 05:15 PM   #14
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So.....it was me and Jaster back in nam....

err....um.

I meant to say.

It was a pretty hot day. I had just bought my first car; it was a 1969 Dodge Challenger R/T with the 426 in it. I had to special order it from the factory, cause they didn't have one in Plum Crazy Purple on the showroom.

So I am cruising down the street, and I see Jaster hitchin a ride! I stop, and he hops in and says "hey man....nice car! I've got a Cream 8 track in my duffle bag. Are you cool?"

I replied "yeah, I'm no square"

After about two hours of cruising, Jaster tells me that there is this giant concert on this farm in upstate NY. It was a bit of a drive from Vegas, but I was up for it.

4 days later we are stuck in traffic trying to get into this 3 day festival. I run out of gas right on the highway, and Jaster says "I'm outta here!"

I never saw him again.

As it turns out, Jaster wanders through NY for a few years before settling down in Binghampton NY, where he made his fortune selling ink refills for expensive pens.

the end.
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Old 03-17-2005, 09:06 AM   #15
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laugh: THAT WAS YOU!!! :shock: I went back with a gascan but you were gone....


If the rap wasn't so long I'd quote that ...hahaha



and Rambo...no...not a chick. "Old serial killer looking guy" I'm told...



ok Story time. This one is all Lopez's fault. I will say he didn't intend for this (and really has more do do with the creative mind of a 7 year old but shhh....blaming Lopez is more fun)

So we all know I was in a crash with some dip.... racer. Well during my recovery, I get this card in the mail. It's a get well from good ol' Lopez. What a guy! So it's a pic of a metal bedpan from a hospital "Hear you're feeling under the weather.....(open card).... don't worry it will all pan out"
haha....hardy har har. Seriously a good laugh when overly medicated. I laughed for almost 15 minutes.... So my boy see's the card and asks what the pic is of. So I tell him... I get the look. So I explain the point of one and what they were used for. I again get the look. Then went into why someone would need one and finally got the look. Didn't think too much of it after that. Well it so happens that the next night he managed to over stuff himself while eating out with Grammy and his 4 scoop icecream sunday put him over the top and he got sick. No biggie, it happens. Well his belly was pretty upset the next day and he was pretty tired so I let him stay home (I had to call into work and stay home and play video games....bummer...) so the day goes fine and he's in bed for the night and has been for about an hour and he's due for his "bathroom, can I have a drink and hud and this and that" run before he really goes to sleep. I hear this odd sound coming from upstairs...sound like running water into something metal because it's echoing. I go up stairs and there is my boy in all his glory and boyhood pissing off the top bunk of his bunkbed into his trash barrel on the floor...."look dad! a bed pan 'cause I'm sick!" He's got pretty good aim for a 7 year old. Thank God....
So I RE-explained things...and he washed the barrel out and went back to bed. I went down stairs and took a pain killer.... He's lucky I was medicated or he probably would have really needed one of those.

So not only was your card funny Lopez, it was educational too!

It was cool to get the card though! Thanks again bro! I'll be sending your kids a drum set someday.
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--------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by GranDreamUse the search, Luke.
Originally posted by Lopez17It's really quite amusing to see the difference between talent and ego
Originally posted by teufelhunden You'd think stickies are there to make the forum pretty...
Originally posted by Killer Kat: Don't feed the Jaster from your hand! He bites!!
Originally posted by cocker kid 2k2 :Shut your trap while the big boys are talking.
Originally posted by Homer:Jaster is the Master.
Originally posted by iplaynaked:This....is the Jaster. All I'm going to say to you about him is....don't make him angry.

--------------------------------------------------
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Red/Yellow Fade LP Classic Timmy, Bob Long Torpedo Reg., Claw Trigger, CP Adj. Ram Cap, Modified Delrin Bolt, CP Flame Drop Forward, Empire On/Off, WAS 2.8 Equalizer bd., WAS Eye, WAS Switch, Twisted Low Rise, Custom Red Oak Grips
Pure Energy 45/45 and 68/45 12" STIFFI Barrel, 14" CP 2 Piece, Red Halo B


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Old 03-17-2005, 10:43 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jaster
laugh: THAT WAS YOU!!! :shock: I went back with a gascan but you were gone....


If the rap wasn't so long I'd quote that ...hahaha



and Rambo...no...not a chick. "Old serial killer looking guy" I'm told...



ok Story time. This one is all Lopez's fault. I will say he didn't intend for this (and really has more do do with the creative mind of a 7 year old but shhh....blaming Lopez is more fun)

So we all know I was in a crash with some dip.... racer. Well during my recovery, I get this card in the mail. It's a get well from good ol' Lopez. What a guy! So it's a pic of a metal bedpan from a hospital "Hear you're feeling under the weather.....(open card).... don't worry it will all pan out"
haha....hardy har har. Seriously a good laugh when overly medicated. I laughed for almost 15 minutes.... So my boy see's the card and asks what the pic is of. So I tell him... I get the look. So I explain the point of one and what they were used for. I again get the look. Then went into why someone would need one and finally got the look. Didn't think too much of it after that. Well it so happens that the next night he managed to over stuff himself while eating out with Grammy and his 4 scoop icecream sunday put him over the top and he got sick. No biggie, it happens. Well his belly was pretty upset the next day and he was pretty tired so I let him stay home (I had to call into work and stay home and play video games....bummer...) so the day goes fine and he's in bed for the night and has been for about an hour and he's due for his "bathroom, can I have a drink and hud and this and that" run before he really goes to sleep. I hear this odd sound coming from upstairs...sound like running water into something metal because it's echoing. I go up stairs and there is my boy in all his glory and boyhood pissing off the top bunk of his bunkbed into his trash barrel on the floor...."look dad! a bed pan 'cause I'm sick!" He's got pretty good aim for a 7 year old. Thank God....
So I RE-explained things...and he washed the barrel out and went back to bed. I went down stairs and took a pain killer.... He's lucky I was medicated or he probably would have really needed one of those.

So not only was your card funny Lopez, it was educational too!

It was cool to get the card though! Thanks again bro! I'll be sending your kids a drum set someday.

OMG!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
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Old 03-17-2005, 05:20 PM   #17
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I'm seriously laughing my butt off here. Glad I could provide a great educational resource for the developing minds of our nation's youth!
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Quote:
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I'd have given someone's arm for a U-Haul and 20 minutes alone with a forklift.
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Old 03-19-2005, 10:45 AM   #18
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This will take some serious thought to decide what can actually pass the "G" rating of this site!
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Old 05-04-2005, 05:18 PM   #19
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oh jaster, remember that time we went to germany and got so wast....... er and we had waffles! lots of waffles!
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Old 05-27-2005, 01:04 PM   #20
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Well here's a little goodie from me and my dad's day off trying to get his new boat in the water.
The day started of pretty normal for a day off. We went up to the lake and got his old boat out of drydock. We motor on over to the boat place and he hands it over and takes the new one. 18' Searay I think... well we go for a ride and bla bla bla and back to the cottage we go. So we dock and all that and start up the barbecue drop the poles in the water and start drinking some beers. Then his friends show up (Yep that's the start of it all.) Well a good while later we are all pretty well lit and we are all checking out my dad's new toy. We can't really go anywhere because it's not registered yet plus we're all hammered. Well one of my dads buddies pipes up and says something about christening the boat. We all look at my mom who is enjoying a bottle of champagne. "No way in hell...get your own bottle to break." So I"m thinking I have a bottle in my hand that will do. I make the suggestion to my dad. He likes it and says go for it. So, me being me, I chuck the beer bottle at the back of the boat. The damn thing bounced. So I grab the next one and toss that. That one bounces too. I start mumbling something about "just like paintball" . Well my dads buddies are all laughing and they giving me all kinds of hard times because I can't seem to break the beer bottle. So they all try it. 3 of them and they all bounced off the back of the boat. Now we're all a good distance from the boat so my dad makes a comment about getting up close and personal with this. He's determined now. So he strolls up to the back of the boat and he has this lost dazed and confused look on his face and he drops the bottle. At first I thought he was having a heart attack or something. Then he starts flipping out. AT ME!! I'm like WTF pop? What I do? All he's doing is pointing at the back ofthe boat.... All I see are these dents in the fiberglass engine cover from every single beer bottle we tossed opps.... I was laughing so hard I fell in the water. My dad was pissed... had the boat for under a day and he managed to break it. But it's my fault because it was my idea. At least my bottle hit the engine mount. I'm smart enough not to through things at fiber glass. I still got blamed though. So he's yelling, his friends are laughing, and I'm getting the beer bottles out of the water (I'm there anyway...might as well because he's going to make me do it anyway) my son, who's too much like his dad) picks up a bottle and looks at the boat. I KNOW that look. Before I could yell for him to stop what he's about to do, he swings at the boat with the bottle. SMASH! goes the bottle. He looks around calm as a cucumber and smiles and rolls his eyes... "Grownups..." and walks away without another word. My dad stopped dead in his tracks, his buddies almost died, and I kept my butt safely in the water. I'm sooo buying the kid a new bike this weekend I can't wait to see the insurance report on this one...at least I don't have to pay the deductible.
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--------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by GranDreamUse the search, Luke.
Originally posted by Lopez17It's really quite amusing to see the difference between talent and ego
Originally posted by teufelhunden You'd think stickies are there to make the forum pretty...
Originally posted by Killer Kat: Don't feed the Jaster from your hand! He bites!!
Originally posted by cocker kid 2k2 :Shut your trap while the big boys are talking.
Originally posted by Homer:Jaster is the Master.
Originally posted by iplaynaked:This....is the Jaster. All I'm going to say to you about him is....don't make him angry.

--------------------------------------------------
Red to Black Texas Storm, WAS2.8 Board, WAS Switch, KAPP Thumper Ram, BL Delrin Poppet, Violent Products Delrin Piston, CP Rail, Modified Stock Bolt, CP Adj. Ram Cap, Empire on/off, AKA Sidewinder reg, Clamping Low Rise, Flame Eye Covers, ScytheII Trigger.
Red/Yellow Fade LP Classic Timmy, Bob Long Torpedo Reg., Claw Trigger, CP Adj. Ram Cap, Modified Delrin Bolt, CP Flame Drop Forward, Empire On/Off, WAS 2.8 Equalizer bd., WAS Eye, WAS Switch, Twisted Low Rise, Custom Red Oak Grips
Pure Energy 45/45 and 68/45 12" STIFFI Barrel, 14" CP 2 Piece, Red Halo B


WANTED: Ripper Timmy body. PM me if you have one you want to sell or trade.
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