Quote:
Originally Posted by pantzaroff16
Oh no. Glenn Dorsey thinks otherwise. He's playing for keeps this year, his draft pick is on the line and he's gunning for top spots.
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Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris once squared off. The fight lasted for 4 years, then Tebow realized that he was actually in a fight. He immediately stiff armed Chuck Norris upon this realization. This event is referred to as the "Big Bang"
Tim Tebow saved the manatees. Then he stiff armed them back on the endandered species list so they wouldnt get cocky.
Tim Tebow is Jackie Chan's stunt double.
Tim Tebow invented the pedestal. Then he invented the stiff arm to have something to knock people off it.
The recent earthquake off the coast of Florida measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Tim Tebows.
Gandhi didnt fast, Tim Tebow simply got drunk one night and ate all his food.
A spike in Tim Tebow stiff arms caused the tooth fairy to go broke in 1993.
Kurt Cobain once told a joke at Tim Tebow's expense... well we all know what happened next.
Tim Tebow told Steve Irwin not to mess with stingrays.
You don't hit Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow hits you!
Tim Tebow doesn't get sacked. Tim Tebow sacks defensive linemen.
Tebow doesn't throw interceptions, he throws the ball to you so he can bring some pain.
SuperMan wears Tim Tebow Pajamas.
Tim Tebow counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Tebow met all three bullets with his stiff arm, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer.
At birth, Tim Tebow came out arms first so he could stiff arm the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Tim Tebow but Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his
own.
Tim Tebow sleeps with a night light. Not because Tim Tebow is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Tim Tebow.
Killing Tim Tebow doesn't make him dead -- it just makes him angry.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Tim Tebow says its beef, then you better believe it's beef.
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Tim Tebow".
What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Tim Tebow, you're
dead."
Tim Tebow literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Tim Tebow signal.
If Tim Tebow was
, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Tim Tebow doesn't break wind that's the air crapping all over itself trying to get out of Tebow's way.
Once after sex my wife admitted to thinking about Tim Tebow - i'm not even mad at her cuz i was thinking of him too.
Tim Tebow would have single handedly whupped the entire Miami team.
In the White Boy Hall of Fame, first comes Tebow, then comes Jesus Christ
I once saw Tim Tebow coming out of the shower. I'm not
or anything, but it changed my life.
Everytime Tim Tebow is stopped for a loss, a kitten dies.
The Tower of Babel was not destroyed by God, it was knocked over by Tim Tebow b/c the people were worshipping rock so he stiff-armed the Eastern Wall thereby knocking it over. The rock that fell from this massive stiff-arm hit the people in the head and caused them to start speaking in different tongues so they could not understand each other. But Tim Tebow understood them all and so it was written that Tim Tebow started tongue-twisters.
They say the Titanic hit an iceberg, but the truth of the matter is that Tim Tebow gave one hell of a stiff arm during his off-season workout.
Nike once had a slogan called Just Do It. A wiser man came along and gave Nike a new slogan: Just Tim Tebow It.
In the beginning, God said "Let there be light" then Tim Tebow flipped the switch.
If you whisper Tim Tebow three times while looking in the mirror, you'll suddenly become better looking, better hung and have a quicker reaction to the blitz.
Tim Tebow once brought a knife to a gun fight..... and won.
Tim Tebow always feels lucky, punk.
Tim Tebow shot 50 Cent nine times, but let him live. Making crappy music is Fifty's torture.
Tim Tebow killed Biggie and Tupac, not by a gun, but a draw to the left.
Tim Tebow's parents could not afford plane tickets to visit family at Christmas time so he picked them up with his left arm threw them to Iowa and then ran and caught them. It is reported that there was no turbulence on that flight and also the movie was great.
Tim Tebow can find the square root of a negative number.
Area 51 isn't heavily guarded because of UFOs, but because Tim Tebow trains there in the off-season.
Tim Tebow farts on sand and it turns into glass.
Tim Tebow's hands are so good, he can give an instant orgasm to any creature...dead or alive.
Tim Tebow can speak braille.
One time, Time Tebow threw a spiral so hard that it went one week into the future...and Tebow was there to recieve the pass.
Tim Tebow lost his virginity before his own father did.
Tim Tebow can solve Sudoku puzzles by only using the number six.
Tim Tebow's average bowling score is 305.
One time, Tim Tebow played an 18-hole round of golf and shot a 14.
Tim Tebow won the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble.
Shockwaves from a Tebow rush brought down the Berlin Wall.
Rush is actually a Tim Tebow tribute band.
Time Tebow's tears cure HIV, AIDS and cancer. Only problem is Tim Tebow has never cried.
La Illaha Illa Shaitan 
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