Saturday:
12:01am-Go to bed looking forward to big day of paintball.
5:30am-Alarm clock rings.
5:45am-Wife raging mad, alarm clock still ringing.
5:46am-Lying on the floor, bruised & almost awake.
5:59am-Sitting down to hot coffee & big breakfast.
6:00am-Screeching tires & blowing horn in driveway.
6:0lam-Captain bursts through door, grabs gear & randomly throws into van.
6:03am-Dogs barking & neighbors lights coming on for two block radius.
6:05am-Leave for field. Driving down road wiping breakfast off jersey & coffee off face
6:15am-Return home for marker. Drive like blue blazes to reach field early.
7:45am-Arrive at field. Gear unloaded, paint pods & air tanks filled.
8:45am-Chrony three times to get under 300 fps.
9:00am-First game of the day begins.
9:10am-Find perfect spot to snipe opponents.
9:13am-Take first shot. Squeegee barrel.
9:13am-Field horn sounds. Game Over.
9:15am-Opponent that got away bragging, "I hung the flag." Get ready for next game.
9:20am-Ready to tag opponent when teammates yell, "You see anything from that big tree?"
9:21 am-Walking off field with big splat on shoulder thanks to opponent and teammate.
9:45am-Walk to Field 2 for next game.
10:15am-Goggles fogged and paintballs are rolling out of barrel.
10:20am-In neutral zone de-fogging goggles and wiping paint from rear. Air tank refilled.
10:45am-Fourth game. Dash up left tape.
10:48am-See flag, 100 feet away.
10:50am-Fall into foxhole, drop marker & loader is knocked loose. Paintballs all over ground.
10:51am-Put loader back on and reload.
10:53am-Tag two defenders with skill and capture flag.
10:58am-Hang flag. VICTORY!
11:15am-Buy paint, refill air and eat lunch.
l2:45pm-Field 3 for afternoon games.
1:00pm-Horn blows. Dash up the right tape.
1:10pm-Do not recognize surroundings.
3:05pm-Still looking for the flag. This is a long game!
3:08pm-Just passed the same rock for tenth time,
3:10pm-Sitting on rock, trying to figure out how I passed boundary.
3:25pm-Still sitting. Look up, huh, a hidden path. Worth a shot.
3:35pm-See yellow boundary in distance. Hear angry screams.
4:00pm-Teammates, upset for losing game time, grab gear & throw into van in random order.
4:15pm-Team leaves field. Why am I still here?
5:45pm-On highway hitchhiking. Do not know why everyone speeds up when they pass.
6:00pm-Hear sirens in distance.
6:03pm-Patrol cars pull over, officers leap out, guns drawn.
6:08pm-Sitting, cuffed, in back of car trying to explain that it is NOT a GUN.
6:15pm-Get one phone call. Afraid to call wife.
7:15pm-Wife arrives at station. Steaming mad.
7:20pm-Leave station after inviting officers to field. Wife shaking head.
7:30pm-Begin long ride home, wife yells incoherently.
8:l0pm-Pull into driveway, wife still yelling. Unloading gear.
8:16pm-Check messages, one from captain. "We're going to the new indoor field next week."
Norm Robitza has been playing paintball since 1990. He operates Ambush Paintball in Amherst, Nova Scotia, Canada.
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