And in her anger, the goddess of paintball divided all the chosen of the sport, and cast them into confusion. In the beginning there were Stockguns--small paintpistols powered by a single CO2 cartridge with few, if any, modifications beyond a pump. The great goddess of paintball saw this and was pleased. She said, "Go forth and multiply," and they did.
Stockguns begat semi-stockguns--paintpistols with barrel extenders, stocks and other accessories, but still powered by a single 12-gram CO2 powerlet.
And semi-stockguns begat Tournament Competition paintguns--highly modified paintpistols designed to take maximum advantage of the rules for a particular tourney but still powered by a single 12 gram.
Then a serpent entered the picture in the form of the Dual-CO2 modification. What's this! A paintgun powered by two powerlets? Sacrilege! Isn't the first commandment, "Thou shalt have only one CO2"?
This made the goddess of paintball very angry, and she told her prophets to find and kill the two-headed serpent. But it was too late.
The Philistines to the West took heart from the serpent, and developed the greatest evil the world of paintball had ever known. Constant-Air--unholy long paintguns powered by refillable bottles of CO2! Sacrilege!
Ever so quickly, the evil spread, and the Philistines to the Midwest developed an even yet greater evil--a fully-automatic paintgun, which begat semi-automatic paintguns. What's this? A marker without a pump? Isn't the second commandment, "Thou shalt have a pump?"
And with the sacrilege of constant-air, evermore the chosen forsook their father's humble CO2 ways.
The Philistines in the Midwest transfixed the chosen with idol worship, aiding their search for the ultimate paradise, and they worshipped compressed air, and nitrogen. Their father mourned in silence. The serpent bent the will of the Philistines across the Great Water, and that of the Philistines to the East, and from the depths of their bowers was born yet another great evil, the electronic marker.
And in her anger, the goddess of paintball divided all the chosen of the sport, and cast them into confusion.
"Enter the Serpent" originally appeared in APG magazine in the 1980s, when Russell Maynard edited APG. Its message rings true today. The author is a long time paintball activist and advocate for the sport, and a co-founder of the International Paintball
